Hi IM's
I've recently received a debt from centrelink as I was over paid ftb due to my ex not updating his income estimate. It's quite substantial & I've now informed him that instead of our prior arrangement of private collect I'll be going through child support, so all the figures add up an we don't have to worry about this happening again. As it is I've been accepting accepting $100 less than I'm entitled to from him, to keep the peace as he claims he can't afford the amount for 3 kids he's supposed to pay. After I informed him I would be changing it over he didn't pay his weekly amount, i then had to borrow money off my mum last week. An he's now saying if I change it over to child support collecting it each week, I will have to drive them all the way to him when its his weekend an collect them as he can't afford it. I'm not really asking for advice just having a poor me moment. He is always so hard to deal with. Always hostile & winging at the kids when they go there that he's broke because he has to give me money every week. His new wife sends me abusive messages as soon as I message him regarding the kids or in this instance changing the system due to it not working for me. I'm feeling very defeated. If I go through child support it will just cause drama, I can tell. he tells the kids way more than they need to know about money & our parenting issues.. calls me greedy an says I'm all about the money. Clearly if I was I wouldn't be accepting less from him than I'm entitled to. It just gets so exhausting. He is also paying our house off still as they live in it. It's behind in repayments, putting a black mark against my name with the bank. It's been nearly 4 yrs an every question or message turns into an argument .. I'm so over it. I'm thinking it's just easier to let it go. An deal with it myself to save the drama.. sorry for the winge just needed to get it out.. x
Exes
Exes
Posted in:
Money
4 Replies
Oh my god, get the house sold and divide the assets. Go through child support, don't worry about his whinging, not your problem. Tell him if he can't afford to pick up kids, he can't afford to have them, he misses out. I am sure he won't like that and pull his head in. I really feel for you, chin up, everything you are doing is right and you are clearly not about the money, just trying to protect yourself from debt. I hope you have a stress free Christmas.
I second this
I third it!
My ex tried the same emotional blackmail on me when I decided I needed to go through centerlink and for the first time in 8 years get what I was supposed to get from him. (Became unemployed and needed it to survive literally)
I said too bad, so sad, he has the house, he's never paid full support, if he can't see the kids, that's his choice.
Needless to say, he still sees the kids. He did bitch about money for a bit, but I said that I let him pay less, for as long as I could, but it was up to the government now, not me. After that, I wouldn't be drawn into any discussion about it.
They are older, so could get that.
I fourth this. My x tried the same. Too bad. You made them you support them. I can't afford it either but I budget to ensure I can. I also work hard to make sure I can.