I am so frustrated. I left my emotionally abusive ex nearly a year ago. it was very on/off again but the last few weeks I feel like I'm officially done. When we were together He made me put his car in my name as well as his phone. I have had numerous parking fines, a speeding and red light fine. He has proof that he paid for the car so I can't report it stolen. He hasn't paid the phone bill in 4 months. Ive had to put half of my pay on It to get them off my back for a few weeks. If I cut it off I'm left with a huge payout fee. we have a child together, He doesn't pay child support and thinks he can come and go whenever he pleases. I've told him that all this stuff effects his child and he doesn't care. When I tell him I can't buy Christmas presents because I have 3 months of phone bills to pay he laughs. Yes it was stupid of me to put his things in my name but I didn't really have a choice back then. I feel like I'm stuffed for the next year at least. I have to pay rent, child care, my phone bill, his phone bill, all his fines. Will legal aid be able to do anything for me? All my research has basically said too bad, it's in your name it's your problem. how do you co-parent with these type of people? It makes me sick handing my child over and him coming Into my house when he has ruined my Christmas and that I will struggle for the next few years because of him. He has plenty of money to pay what he's meant to. If he was a drop kick with no job I'd count my losses and be done but that's not the case.
6 Replies
Go into the RTA. cancel the rego. He will then get his own karma. Caught with no rego... It's a huge fine for him. As for the bills... No idea. But go to the RTA straight away and cancel it.
You need to call up and say the phone has been stolen. or even tell them you've lost it. If you've got insurance they'll replace it and send you a new SIM card. If not they should help you come to an agreement/settlement and it should be way less, even if they cut off the old SIM card and send you a new one it'll be better than what you are currently dealing with. I'd go and cancel the rego, say that your ex took the car and you no longer have it in your possession. Then when he is pulled up by the police he'll cop a fine for driving an unregistered vehicle. You also need to contest those fines. The photos will clearly show that it's not you driving and they will have to chase it down. Don't pay the rego on this vehicle anymore you will be stupid to do so. I know it's hard but you need to stand up for yourself. You can't let this keep going on and you can't let him continue to do this to you.
You don't have to report it stolen. Firstly if you get fines and you weren't driving you can sign a stat dec, the info is usually on the fine, the stat dec will declare who was driving and then the fines unit will then chase him.
But you can also go to the motor registry and have the car taken out of your name. It's very easy to do. At least that way you won't be getting more surprises! I've had to do it when someone bought my car and didn't put in there paperwork.
Start setting up boundaries. Don't let him in your home! Lock the doors, if he has a key, get the locks changed. Don't let him in. Take charge. If he won't leave your doorstep, call the police. Tell them you are scared, which you are. Don't hand your child over, take him to mediation and get set days and times in place, and meet in a neutral location.
Ok here is what you need to do.
Car - Cancel the rego on the car immediately. If he is caught driving the car unregistered he will be responsible for the fines and the police will remove the number plates. If you have paid for insurance on the car, cancel that too. I would be fighting the fines in court.
Phone - If he won't return the phone to you then report it stolen. The provider will then disconnect and disable it and he will be unable to use even with a new sim. Don't let him keep using it at your expense just because you are worried about the contract. The provider will organise a payment plan for you. And depending on how long is left on the contract they may even waive it.
Take control - don't let him control you.
He doesn't have keys to your place does he? If he does change the locks asap.
Agree cancel Rego asap
That will stuff him
Report phone as stolen asap
Then call the Child support agency
Get them involved asap
He will have to pay regular child support payments based on his salary
Wipe your hands of him for good
He is a rude person he has no regard for you at all
I'd probably call legal aid or a solicitor to get more info on the legalitis
He is still controlling you. Cancel anything that is his in your name. Ask for a payment plan, cosolidate the debt it creats, whatever you need to do to cut these ties or he will continue this behaviour.