So my husband and I decided we'd like to try for a baby, we tried for a month or so and I decided last week that maybe having a baby wasn't the best idea for us. We have older children and we are in our 30's. I think our choice stemmed from a fear of missing out, regret that we never had more. I honestly dont know what it was. Well I've just done a pregnancy test and it come out positive. I'm completely shocked! We only had sex a few times and managed to fall pregnant. I don't know if I'm happy? I don't know if I want a baby, am I a terrible person. I would never get an abortion, that's just not something I'm prepaired to go through. I feel like the worst person in the world! I know this was my decision and I know there are some people who are struggling to conceive and would do anything to be in my position. I just don't feel happy about this. Please tell me other people have been in this position too, I feel like a horrible person.
6 Replies
How does any of what you described make you a horrible person? Of course you are not horrible. Everyone is entitled to have doubts, and to change there mind etc etc. none of what has happened makes you horrible and your baby will feel just as loved as your other kids.
Jeez there is no way in hell I was planning on a baby when I had my son, and not a single person would call me horrible. I was shocked, scared and doubted very much that I wanted a baby, or was ready for one. Not a single person who knows me and my son would think I didn't love him and do the very very best for him anyone could have done.
You are just a normal person with normal feelings.
Nope, been there. Tried once (literally - once), things changed and we decided to call off the baby making. It was too late. Deed done.
I struggled for AGES with it because I had talked myself out of it, and I was scared because the things that had changed included my (now) husband had been made redundant from his job. We didn't have older kids (she's our first) but we ended up continuing and she's now 5 and a half.
Had I aborted, I probably wouldn't have regretted it but I'm so grateful that I didn't.
You're not horrible. You're allowed to feel what you feel. Be kind to yourself xxx
I've been there too. I cried for days. It happened again after that baby and again I cried for days, so I sent hubby straight to get the snip.
You are not a horrible person. You will love the baby and you will be ok ❤
Trust in the universe that this is the right thing. As they say 'everything happens for a reason'
Yes you are allowed to feel shocked/scared/upset at the thought of your current lifestyle changing.
But as a parent you already know that once your belly start to grow and you feel a babe in there your maternal instincts will kick in and all will be well.
Gently said thank your stars and count your blessings that your able to habe another child. As there are to many who cant have any or like me would love to have more but not happening after a loss.
Gently said please count your blessings . Your very lucky to be given this gift. To many ladies can't or struggle after loss like myself.