Hi sisters,
I need a little advice on what to do. My sister in law has told my husband that she doesn't want me at her place for Christmas. This was about 2 months ago. I was hoping she would change her mind with time but she hasn't. I'm really upset and hurt by this. We have always gotta along in the past. She has told my husband she doesn't want to pretend to like me anymore. I've known her for as long as I've known my husband ten years. I've tried talking to her face to face and texting but she won't reply to my messages. The situation has made me sick to my stomach worrying. What I should do. I'm a really soft person. I don't like confrontation. I don't know if I should just go and stand up to her or not go.
Thanks in advance
10 Replies
Nope I wouldnt go and neither should your husband (if its his sister).
I would not go and if she asked say simply I am choosing to spend Christmas with my husband
Oops misread that. I would be letting my husband know that I am hurt and that I felt like she was making him choose between his wife and his sister. If my sister said something like that about my partner I would let her know that neither of us would be coming as we will be celebrating christmas together
Nope you should not turn up there on Christmas Day! Christmas Day is not the day for any kind of confrontations at all and she has made her feelings very clear, that the situation is not up for debate. It's her house so her rules!
Now it's up to you and your husband wether he still goes or he opts to stay home. Wether he just pops in for an hour to say hello or whatever.
Pretty sure (like 99.99%) that if I was actually not invited my partner wouldn't go either. In your place, I'd try to book a last minute nice holiday room and share the day with my partner. A quiet Christmas Eve, dinner out, a sleep in Christmas morning, lounge by the pool and hit the nearest entertainment venue, takeaway in your room for dinner, then FB updates of the wonderful time you both had to rub their noses in it. What they want is to make you feel like an outsider, what you should be feeling is free of the bullshit to actually do what you want to do for Christmas, hell how many of us would love that! After Christmas, see if you can find out what the problem is if it matters that much to you but she's said she's been pretending to like you. It's hurtful when they don't but not everyone is going to like us, maybe it's just worth avoiding each other.
Totally agree with this. She's making your husband choose between you and his family. The choice should simply be you!! Do something together and make sure the two of you have a hell of a good time ?
Dont go shes a jerk for choosing christmas to make this stance. Every other day fine, but christmas you suck it up for everyone.
Your husband should be telling her straight that shes putting you both in a shitty situations on christmas day but if thats what she wants, none of you go.
Don't go.
And your husband wouldn't go either if he knew it hurt you so much.
OR
Go to the Christmas celebration, but stay in the car.
Send your husband in, but get him to only stay for 5 minutes.
Let him wish them merry Christmas, give them their cards/gifts, then get him to leave. Make sure he says "*you* wasn't invited, so I won't be staying. I'm spending the day with my wife/family".
If I was you I wouldn't go and I wouldn't let hubby go either
Christmas is one of them times you grit your teeth and smile for people that you sometimes don't quite get along with,
Especially family
Quite frankly she's being 100% rude!
And you are family whether she likes it or not and Christmas time should be spent with family
It sounds like you've done nothing to even cause this so I'd also say she's being petty too
It's sounds like she's angry about something you said or did. You need to confront her and talk it out UNTIL you have both reached an understanding, sometimes people need to step up and explain themselves and apologise. Otherwise this will continue until it's resolved.