4th child partner wants a abortion.
Hi all, I've just found out I'm pregnant, my partner and I already have three boys under four. My partner 100% doesn't want another child, if I do decide to keep this baby my partner wants nothing to do with it he doesn't even want to be on the birth cirtificate. He works full time, I'm a stay at home mum. We would have to upgrade our car to suite us. we have a dream of buying a house but pushed it back because we had number three. My youngest wasn't planned my partner wanted to abort him as well I couldn't do it, I couldn't imagine life without him, that's why I can't bring myself to end this pregnancy no matter how hard things get, my partner just comes out with every negative thing he can think of eg: it would be caos, the boys will get left out, he's life is over . He works a lot which I am thankful for! but I do everything on my own, he's either working, sleeping or sitting on he's phone. Am I being selfish for brining another child into the world ?
4th baby father wants a abortion
4th baby father wants a abortion
Posted in:
Pregnancy
11 Replies
I had a friend in this situation a little while ago, my advice was it all comes down to your decision because it's your body and your mind.. I understand the whole making decisions together but in the end it's you it's going to affect the most, don't let anyone pressure you into your decision.. Also if he loves you he will support your decision either which way, he might be distant for a bit but he will get there after he's had time to process it and if you can't do it then don't.. honestly my personal opinion is if you choose to have sex then that's a risk you take although I would never judge anyone for doing it either.. I hope all this makes sense and good luck with whatever decision you make xxx
It will be chaos, but you have 3 boys under 4, isn't life already chaos? Did the first boy get left out when the second came along? Did the first two get left out when the third came along? Your life is over when you become a parent until the time your children fly the coop, so what you're adding 2 years to it? If it was to be, you'd make do. You've made do every other time. Ask yourself if YOU can do it, listen to his arguments if there's actually fact rather than "OMG my life is over" bullshit and discuss the options once he's ready to be an adult about it. Maybe it's just come as surprise and he's reacted out of instinct - who hasn't had the "oh shit, what do I do now!!!" reaction at some stage.
Your husband is a dick and I'd be telling him to seek help on managing his emotional abusive behaviour or he can get the fuck out.
An abortion only has an emotional affect on a man, whereas a woman its mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. That's your precious baby and Im horrified your fuckhead man child who clearly doesnt take protective matters himself, who ALSO had a part in creating this baby try and dictate what you should do with your body.
I'd choose my baby over that fucking asshole all day, every day. And if he wants to stay and be a man then his option can be to get the snip.
Monetary things mean nothing. Who gives a flying rats ass if you gotta wait a bit longer to get the house you want. You cant take it with you when you die, its meaningless shit.
You need to stand up for yourself and fuck this man child off.
He is scum of the actual earth. Saying he wants nothing to do with this baby?! Shit I'm surprised you didnt tell that weak ass pussy bitch that you dont want ANYTHING to do with him or your children!!!
I'm so angry by this if you can't tell. Normally I don't swear so much but sweetheart fuck this loser off!!!!!
I feel a little for your husband i mean he works and works and for what? It would mostly be going to his family the extra child brings extra costs, more time consumed, he would be coming home just to be on the job again, you would be so much more busy. I can totally understand where he is coming from especially when the last wasnt planned and he already felt that way. Although he should of been taking precautions if he didnt want it to happen. In the end it is your body and your baby you need to decide what is best for yourself and your children.
Being honest, the way this is written has lead me to assume you got pregnant on purpose knowing full well he didnt want one.
He could have been using protection but you also could have respected his decisions enough to also be on contraception. Nothing is 100% but it doesnt sound like either of you tried.
Sounds like you enjoy being a stay at home mum. You realise you're probably able to be that because your hubby works.
I am the working parent, i have dreams and goals that one day i want to look back and say this is what i have to show for it.
You're obviously going to expect that his income covers the nappies, the formula, clothes the extra car seat oh and of course a new car.
You're expecting that he put buying a house on hold because you want the baby. You want to stay at home with your children.
When does hubby get what he wants or is he just there to pay for it all?
Whats your backup plan if he leaves because he didnt get considered in this decision?
Goodluck, i hope it works out for you i really do.
I'm sorry but if he didn't want another one with the 3rd you think he'd have thought about using contraceptives when t came to the 4th, I'm against abortion to the fullest (only when used like this) in cases of rape, way too young for children sure.... but not a family that didn't use protection
He cannot deny being on the birth certificate it would be illegal for you not to name him as father, however he can sign over all rifts for the child
But to say he won't have anything to do with it he's an idiot!
He did the deed and he now has consequences to deal with
You are in NO WAY being selfish for keeping this child, he is being selfish for putting you in this situation!!
Never abort for a man. I did when I was 17 kind of. I was scared being so young but I felt pressured by him. He ended up leaving me anyway afew months later. I was left crushed and broken. So if your husband is threatening to leave if you have baby I could imagine him leaving anyway before long regardless of if you have the baby or not. He's just trying to pressure you so he doesn't have to bother with another child.
Your partner has a right to this decision as much as you do. You have already gone against his wishes and had number three. You both need to come to an agreement. To do list: Couselling and vasectomy.
I don't want to be rude but after an accidental 3rd we're you not extra extra careful ? It doesn't add up ! My 3rd was a surprise and my hubby and I decided he would get the snip while I was pregnant to avoid another oops !! It wasn't even that expensive ! You don't have to go private !! He took part in the sexual act as much as I did so he needs to step up .
Ok so that's hindsight now (but please learn from it this time !!) - so he now sounds scared ! Don't make a de idiom based on fear ! List pros and cons . If you can't go through with an abortion then don't ! It will only mess u up emotionally . His choice will be to either step up or leave . You might need to decide whether you can do it without him ...? Get counseling together to talk it out before deciding but act quickly obviously your time is limited !! Your baby if you choose to keep it will be lived , your family will be fine you will find ur groove and ur children will all be close friends ! It will be chaos for a while but that too will pass !
The dad has a point !!! I have 3 kids on my own and I know how hard this shit is if I ever got pregnant again i would abort without a wink only because my 3 children are enough for me to cope with anyone ever thought the guy can't express himself properly and is saying this shit because he doesn't know how to cope with it??? Don't boot the partner ur both at fault here could have been using protection. u need to sit ur arses down and have an adult conversation wats more important u keeping ur family together or being a single mother with 4 kids end of story because I garentee 3 kids are hard I cant imagine having 3 plus a new born...
i am clearly pro choice and I beleive there is no shame Wat so ever in having a termination I have also had one.. it was hard and horrible but that is life it's full of hard decisions u just need to make the right choices here
I'm in a similar situation now myself and was wondering what you chose? our First was a accident and I was diagnosed with PCOS after and realized she was a miracle. It took four years to get pregnant with my second. I wanted another girl and went off the birth control to have her. I just had her six months ago and went back on the SAME birth control while waiting for my husband to get the vasectomy he was supposed to get, but still hasn't yet. Well..somehow the birth control failed..and here we are deciding whether or not to abort number four. :(