I am so SICK of my husband! He is nothing but a slob! Every day I'm at home cleaning the house for up to 5-6 hours and come bed time, EVERYTHING is undone and looking disgusting!
He leaves his beer bottles around wherever he pleases. I've found them stashed into the back of the lounge. Our youngest, if I'm not quick enough to find his bottle stash will find it and drink all the left over drops of beer out of the bottle. Just the other day he left his whiskey out and the baby got a hold of it! ? he leaves his rubbish laying around instead of using the bin. He'll leave used cotton buds on the sink and let them pile up until I bin them. Often the sink gets blocked and I'm blamed because I need to stop putting my hair down the drain apparently and it's my fault despite last time digging out numerous cotton buds and old floss he used. He hardly ever brushes his teeth or uses deodorant. He will blow his nose on clean washing or towels and then use them! He doesn't see a problem with using a towel with a bit of snot on it. He has been sick the past week which I had before him and was told to suck it up and stop winging but if he sleeps on the lounge all afternoon or leaves snot on rags laying around the house I dare not mention it because his sickness is worse than I had and I know nothing of how hard it is to work while sick. He thinks because he vacuums once a month I should get off his back about cleaning because "he does his part"
I'm sick to death of it! It doesn't matter how upset or angry I get I'm never taken seriously! He's driven me to the point of mental breakdowns on several occasions and he still doesn't care. I was suicidal a few months ago and told him I wanted to kill myself and he merely said he needs me to be the rock because he can't be the glue that holds this family together. All I have is resentment for this man.
Slobby husband!!
Slobby husband!!
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Kids
7 Replies
He sounds like an alcoholic to be perfectly honest. Why is he drinking so much that beer bottles are behind the lounge?
It also sounds like an incredibly unsafe environment to raise a child. When you are a parent your child's safety is number 1. Alcohol can kill a small child and you'd never forgive yourselves if your baby drank alcohol and DIED.
I'm sorry this sounds like a toxic mess where you all drag each other down, rather than work as a team. A marriage should be team work.
It is time for you both to take some time apart. He isn't going to change, because he doesn't care. He likes life the way it is. So start believing who he is, and leave with your child. I bet your mental health problems will get much, much better when you are out of that toxic mess and aren't worrying about your child getting drunk or dying from alcohol poisoning.
That is terrible you poor thing. It sounds like he is treating you like a slave. The other poster is right - a small amount can kill a young child. If this happens again (God forbid) call an ambulance immediately. This may shock your husband into reality especially if the doctors have a word with him. I would definitely suggest counselling for yourself immediately especially if you are having suicidal ideation. Talk to your GP asap. To be honest your depression sounds situational, dependent on your husband. Best wishes xx
If you resent him this much and he's such a dick why are you with him hun?
You know you and the kids deserve better than this. Yes it's scary to think about leaving but just imagine how good life will be without this crap
There is a massive difference between being a bit of a slob and being an outright pig. Puts the kids in danger, leaves unhygienic shit where the kids have access (which as a worst case can include the bacteria to make them pretty damn sick), belittles you with the whole "you don't know what it's like" bullshit (because clearly you've never been sick and had to change nappies, chase kids, clean and cook food), makes your life harder having to clean up after him, shows blatant disrespect for your feelings or mental health, denies any responsibility for holding the family unit together and has no intention of changing the status quo. When someone displays that level of disgusting behaviour I don't think there's a hope of changing that.
Sounds like my ex, time to leave your life will be easier without an extra child to look after
If he is affecting your mental health to the point of suicide then my sweet, you need to see what life will be like without him and send him on his way. The things he is doing are completely unhygienic and disgusting and he has grown accustomed to being lazy and unhealthy and you just accepting his revolting habits and letting it go. Please speak to your gp and get some advice on the mental health issues sweetheart. You deserve happiness in every way ❤❤❤
My husband is a slob. It's harder to clean up after him than after my children. He won't even put a toilet roll in the bin almost right beside the loo, it's easier to drop it on the floor. It's maddening. He baked himself a cheesecake the other day, has eaten it all and left the try with knife in the fridge. Why not take it out and put it on the sink when he got his last slice? If he spills something, especially something that will stain the benches, I'd like him to wipe it up.
My problem is he's moved countries to be with me, I knew he was a slob before I married him, just didn't realise how hard it would be to pick up after him. And he feels like he's carrying the water', so the poor boy is overwhelmed and fair enough, he's 11 yrs my senior, first time dad in his 50's, he does a lot of the baby wrangling for me, (although drives me nuts giving him junk food because it's easier, and won't stand his ground on things and gives in to tantrums, also doesn't change his nappy nearly enough).
I feel trapped, if I ask him to go, he has no one except our family, no family, no friends and he's stuck in our country just so he can see his son. So it's shit, and I empathise with you entirely and have no suggestions, other than to seek family counselling, that's what I'm doing, but it won't change the slobishness, I think that is ingrained.
:(