At a cross road
Back ground story me n partner happy for 2 yrs lived together with my child see his kids every second week all good
Handed full custody of his child 15months ago and told the other isn't his confimed with dna the ex says she don't want child due to his issues been diagnosed odd adhd and is also just disrespectful as mums always given in to shut him up I'm a few weeks off having baby together with dad his child hates me tells me every day calls me every name u can think of if its only me n the kids my partner quite work cause of the stress his child causes
Mother now what's child back court are saying she's been to all her metal Heath app and should be allowed we have done 50/50 for a few months each time child comes to ours is aggressive and harms me and unborn child I get told child is only 6 deal with it
I feel like walking away I've got no support and I'm bullied 7 days a ftn by a 6yr old I have smacked I have spoken and I have tried to just be nice nothing's worked
I've now been informed when Bub is born that he will stab it to death cause he wants me to cry for a long time this is alarming to me partner thinks it's no big deal kids say mean stuff all the time my own child is now starting to mouth off towards me when not getting their way I'm at breaking point please help should I just walk away or keep trying everytime I bring issues up with dad I'm told he's just a kid don't take it to heart but it's not just words its physical and I've been recording it all and still nothing and I feel like my child is missing out as theirs so much always going on
3 Replies
As a mum of a special needs kid (who has been violent in the past).
You Should Leave.
Your job as a mum is to protect your children. You would not be protecting your children if you stayed. Your job as a mum is to provide a stable living environment for your children.
the child in question needs very intensive support from a psychologist who can visit the home and analyse behaviour and dynamics and offer ongoing training how to manage.
He is medicated and sees doctors and all that but only with mum as she won't allow us to take him to appointments but we have received emails and info from doctors and told them what happens at our place his school report was so good regarding behaviour and following rules so I know it's not the fact he can't it's the fact he's told not to and feels obligated to hate me and I'm full aware kids with special needs r hard work I'm a special needs teacher but with him their is never remorse it's always someone else fault including wee on the floor the dog gets blamed even if u walk in after he just walked out its never his fault
Tell Dad straight up. We need to fix this and work with the child's psychologist and Drs together regardless of mum's thoughts on the subject otherwise you are leaving and taking an intervention order out that he will not be seeing new baby while he has care of his child.
This isn't to say he won't be able to see new baby just not when the new baby has contact with the other child. You know that your job is to protect your children and I can read that you want this for all your children including the child with special needs.
It sounds like Dad has to deal with his child's behaviours very limitly due to you being there, some tough love of him having to cope by himself may be what he needs to get his shit together and if by you leaving the situation for a least a month doesn't change his attitude then you don't want your children to grow up and model this behaviour.
You are a special needs teacher so you know what needs to be done, all significant parties in the child's life need access to his psychologist and Drs they need to be made aware of the threats and taken seriously if this was happening in your classroom it would be reported.
I wish you all the best with this difficult emotional choice yes you love your partner but you have children to think of.