Unreasonable ex husband

Hi Baby Mamas! Sorry, this is long. Please bear with me, I want to make this very clear.

Im finding now that my ex husband is in a new relationship (we both are) that he is so unreasonable. When we're both single, we get along fine. No dramas. We actually talk, laugh and have a good relationship. When he's in a relationship (this is his 4th, my 1st since splitting) he's just an arsehole. He found out I was in a new relationship, met a girl on tinder that same day and it was relationship official within that week and he was back to his old ways again. He actually called me to tell me he had another girlfriend, a serious one this time. I said "Thats good. Good for you, as long as you're happy and she's good with the boys, im happy". It all went downhill from there.

He has our boys one night a week, if that. Sometimes not at all. No parenting plan, im happy to go with the flow and whatever works. Im very easy going, have never denied him access (I left him because he is very angry, aggressive, violent and abusive in front of the kids) and I make things as easy as possible to ensure things run smoothly. Quite frankly, I cant stand the prick but its easier to be civil because it means I have less to do with him.

If he cant afford child support one week, sweet. Pay double next week or pay it off. He's about $7k behind mind you. If he has no fuel to pick the kids up, I drop them off. If he has no money when he has the kids, I have given him some so that he can enjoy his weekend with them without worry, but he has to pay it back. (I know, im an idiot. My Dad already growled me for that lol I just wanted my boys to enjoy their weekend and be fed). I forward him all emails or messages regarding important things with school, invite him to everything important (concerts, sports, award ceremonies etc.) Send the clothes I have bought for the kids to his house because he has none and wont buy any and rarely get them back. He has them whenever he wants. I dont bust his arse to pay back the debt, we just dont talk about it. Considering everything he has done in the past, he's got it good. Im not a pain in the arse like I know some women can be. Who has the time? I dont need the drama or stress.

Despite everything, 95% of his phone calls are abusive. I tell him I wont tolerate it and to call back when he's calm. I hang up and he calls back calm for 30 seconds before screaming my ear off again. If I cant drop the kids off or pick them up for whatever reason, im a f***ing fat c*** that needs a job (I have a job and he knows that lol) and I should be paying him child support?? Whenever he doesn't get his own way, he becomes aggressive and abusive or refuses to have the kids as if its going to hurt me, not realising or caring that he's hurting them. I had to go to hospital once with pregnancy complications. He happily came to pick my Son up because I was going to be in overnight, then all of a sudden he was texting and calling me every half hour asking when I was "coming to pick this kid up" because he had work tomorrow. Kept telling me to hurry the F up or get my "boyfriend" to come pick him up. He couldnt have them for one extra night and drop them to school at 8.15 on his way to work at 9. My partner had to leave work early (I told him not to worry about coming to the hospital, just come after work) to go get him because my ex just wouldnt give up. He makes everything so difficult.

He told me once (when he was single) that child support is for necessities, and if I need extra for school excursions, clothes, shoes, sport etc. that he will go halves. I asked him once and never bothered again. It was world war 3. Said I must be spending all of his child support money on myself if I cant afford extras. If he asks me for something that I say yes to, he will say no to the same thing the following week, swear and carry on. He wants, wants, wants but wont give anything in return. There is no halfway. My partner doesnt even bother trying to make sense of it all anymore.

It stresses me out to no end. I have asked my partner, parents and close friends on numerous occasions if I do ANYTHING to warrant his behaviour and abuse - tell me straight! Tell me if im being a bitch or unreasonable. They're all dumbfounded as to why he is like that. Everyone knows how easy going I am and how crazy he is, so they dont understand either. My best friend told me once that there must be two sides to this story. I must be doing something to make him so crazy, then we went to drop the kids off one day and he was going mental over something trivial, throwing things around, screaming, calling me names and swearing. After locking the car doors, she apologised to me and said she sees it now. Since then she has also heard the phone abuse and stares at me blankly because she just doesn't understand. I just shrug because im used to it. He's actually got worse as my pregnancy (to my partner of course) has progressed.

I believe I have done everything I can to make things run as smoothly as possible, but nothing helps. How can I get him to at least come down to a level where he's not so nasty and abusive? How do I get him to see that not everything requires an argument and im not a bad person? He's even rude at pick ups and drop offs and the kids sense it. I asked him once why he is the way he is towards me. His reply was "Because you're a c**t" I said "But why? I never do anything to you?" he said "Uhhh no reason. You just are. C**t."

Please help! Im due to have my baby soon and I just dont need the stress. I get so angry over being treated like shit, and it ruins my mood and in turn, everyone elses. Its getting to me. My partner is getting tired of his shit and im scared its pushing him away or he will explode one day and it definately wont be pretty. I really do fear that it will eventually get physical.

*Edit* I leave my kids with him, regardless of how he is towards me because he is their Father. He is a great and very loving Father, I will give him that. Unless he was abusive or violent towards my children, I will not deny him access, ever! It really pisses me off when women use their kids as pawn on a chessboard and keeping them away is their first option. Denying access is wrong when there is no need. Father's have the same amount of right to ser their children as Mother's do!

Thank you for reading my novel x