Tonight I'm struggling.. I've lived in a psychological damaging relationship for 6 years, but it's not with the typical partner, it's with my parents. I love them to death as they took me in 7 months pregnant running away from an abusive relationship. But they have continued to treat me the same way my ex did. My father once told me he could see why my ex abused me.. fast forward a few years and it's constant pressure and mind games; they tell me what I should be doing every part of the day, I'm asked constantly what I'm doing and why and if they don't agree I must stop it, I am not allowed to be angry at any decisions, if I ever speak out of turn they ignore me for days, if I ever sit down during the day then I am told 'I should be doing something more productive', they parent my daughter over me and say that they have the final word because it's their house, they regularly let a convicted criminal family member into the house despite my saying I'm extremely uncomfortable with them being around my child and I, even to the point where i had a very rare night away so they looked after my daughter and they let the family member stay the night in the house knowing I wouldn't be there to protest. I honestly fear for my daughters safety and have always made it clear, this incident made me realise that I really am not valued or thought of as an adult to them despite being 30. There are so many more incidents but generally being treated like a child and not letting me parent my own child is killing me. I need to get out of the house as soon as possible but I have very little money and no accommodation. I'm worried if I move away from my other support networks (other mum's at my child's school) my daughter and I will be more damaged. I've looked at Centrelink rent assistance but it's not enough for the area, I don't have a rental history as I've lived with them for so long and the housing places won't take me as I'm technically not in the domestic abuse category. Where else can I go?
5 Replies
Move out of the area! Staying in that environment is far more damaging to your daughter than moving away.
If your child is enrolled in a school and you move out the area you can still send your child to that school. Perhaps look at places with rent cheaper but still close by.
can you look at a share house? Usually they are around $150ish for a room, bills included. Ideally with another single parent if possible but if not I still think it will still be better than your daughter living in such a toxic environment. Bond is usually 2 weeks rent & centrelink may help with an advance for that? good luck
It's family violence. Talk to a social worker, your GP AND a psychologist.
Why are you still there? Seriously why? Rent Assistance, plus youth allowance/single parenting payment/child support (if you receive any) fam tax a and family tax b. Income from a job? Your daughter is at school find a job from 9-2. If you have to move schools and towns and start all over again. I've been living out of home for the last 14 years and I that time I've left an abusive relationship, suffer from anxiety and am now raising 3 kids all on my own and pay $350 a week in rent. Don't stay and put up with this you are 30 years old. Time o put your big girl panties on and get out of that shit hole and do you!!