As I write this I am filled with great guilt AND sadness.
I'm the proud mother to 4 gorgeous kids.
2 who are primary school age, one kindergarten and one baby.
And I am having great difficulty enjoying my children.
I love them all SO SO much, which is why it breaks my heart because they deserve a mum who enjoys their time and company. But I'm not.
It's starts with my daughter (kinder age). She is funny, smart and incredibly difficult. And has been since birth.
She screams (and I don't mean yells I mean SCREAMS a blood churning scream) almost 24/7. And it can be about anything. If she needs her jumper off and it gets stuck, she screams. If she is tired, she screams. You tell her her shoes are on the wrong feet, screams. I'm honestly surprised the police haven't been called because she is constantly screaming at the top of her lungs. And once she starts you cannot reason with her. And she is so rough. She is constantly hurting her siblings, breaking things, and even hurting herself. And it makes me sad for her. I don't want to be telling her off and feeling frustrated with her 98% of the day. And her siblings don't enjoy playing with her either because as they say 'but she just screams and cries all the time'. My heart breaks fo her, b cause it seems like she just can't physically control herself. She still wakes 2-5 times a night crying and screaming, which wakes the rest of the house. I've taken her to 3 doctors, (I suspected ASD possibly ADHD?) who all say, 'some kids are just more difficult than others' and that's the end.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted. I want to be able to enjoy her, and I try wake with a positive attitude everyday. But by the time school ends, I've had enough. And the other kids cop the brunt of it too, b cause mum is tired and just can't deal with it anymore.
Please ladies, from one mum who is really struggling and feeling incredibly guilty. How can I find the strength to enjoy my children? To keep a happy home?
My kids only have one childhood, and I want them to remember it with mum giving her all, that loves them and spends fun, quality time with them! Not, 'please, I've had enough right now'.
How do I enjoy my children??
How do I enjoy my children??
Posted in:
Mental Health, Behaviour, Kids
2 Replies
If it's possible that she has ASD or ADHD get her assessed!! The sooner the better you'll at least be able able learn some strategies to work with her! I'm in the same position but my boy has been assessed it hurts but it makes it easier knowing there is a reason that he is like he is. Her having the label isn't the end of the world. Her having the label allows you to get the help you need so your family ca all work together. She can even be medicated which in turn will help the whole family and may even assist in them eventually being able to like her.
Ask the doctor for a referral to a paediatrician. Then be completely blunt and honest and tell him how her behaviour is effecting your family. Sometimes we downplay the effects of things and the doctors don't know how much you really struggle. It could be something as simple as a dietary disagreement or something more sinister. Could you ask about a parenting course? Maybe a different approach with her could make all the difference (not saying your a bad parent but maybe an instructor could help with some tips for difficult kids). My son was difficult tot but luckily grew out if it. The only other suggestion could be child care for maybe half a day a few days a week to give you some time to recharge your batteries. I can only imagine how difficult it is and it sounds like you are doing a great job so far. Best of luck!