4th.. very unplanned pregnancy . (Im 5 weeks ) . We have 3 kids, youngest being 12 months. I have been on pill for 8 months.... the one time we also decide not to use a condom as we had run out... bam... i havent told hubby yet... i honestly don't know how. He had it known if we ever fell again that it would ruin him, and us financially, family plans, etc etc... and he would want to terminate . he is booked for snip in February. So I sit here nearly hyperventilating as i have no idea what to do . I cant bring myself to tell him yet. I just don't think I could go through with a termination. But them feel guilty as my other kids will suffer if we have this one.. well I feel they would. Has anyone been in this situation and it's been ok... i was also meant to go back to work in Feb. :(
3 Replies
Yes been In a similar situation. My twins had just turned one when we fell pregnant with our 4th. We also had a 2 year old. We had just been married and built a house so I was working part time as well as hubby full time. I lost my job after telling my boss the news and hubby had his hours at work cut around the same time. Hubby had made it clear 3 was all he wanted and he wasn't happy or too involved in the pregnancy itself. I was scared but happy as I love babies. Thankfully my husband never asked me to terminate as he knows I would never. The moment Bub was born hubby burst into tears holding him and apologising for how he had acted during the pregnancy. Whilst yes we struggle financially and it set back goals for years neither of us would take it back. Bub is the cheekiest happiest little one and completes our family perfectly ?
Although I haven't been in that situation and I pray I don't have to be either , hubby and I have just had the hypothetical what would we do discussion and we both feel we know we couldn't go through with a termination so we'd just find a way to cope . If your feeling this way too it is possible ! You can get through it just try to do it together ! I'd suggest telling him and going through the emotions together ... expect him to panic at first just like you are but don't make any final decisions before you e both had a chance to process it and talk through the pros and cons and your real feelings about the possibility of terminating , be honest with him and ask him to talk it through with you and reach your decision together! Good luck mumma ! Take a deep breath and go talk to ur hubby !!
This was me 7weeks ago we have three kids and my father also lives with us meaning our two daughters share a room! We took steps to prevent this and we had also just come back together after being separated for 8months. The timing couldn't be worse i knew husband didn't want anymore ever and we were already struggling but we also felt this way with our third and we made it work! I told hubby the mornin after I found out I told him not to give me a answer but think on it for a few days knowing my mind was already made! A few days later he informed me he couldn't and didn't want another I listened and nodded then I explained I couldn't and wouldn't go through a termination believe me there was a 100 reasons not to keep it but I only needed one reason to keep it....love! I explained I had already made my mind up and I couldn't go through a termination but I was willing to walk away I was willing to raise this baby on my own as well as our other three kids I was essentially chosing life over my marriage don't get me wrong it broke me I cried for days I tried to convince myself I had to terminate but at the end of the day I couldn't. I also told him it's not wrong how either of us feel it's just a hard situation. He took a few days to process it and I had a ultra sound booked a few days later. We sat in the car park about to head in. I looked at him and said don't follow me in there if your not on board if you don't want this I told you I would do it alone and I would he nodded and I got out and started walking in I heard a car door and next minute he was beside me we did the scan and from that moment everything g changed we got back to the car looked at each other shook our head and laughed and said we're having a baby and we're crazy! My point being give him a few days to wrap his head around it but make sure your mind is made up and don't let him force you into anything you don't want to do! He may or may not
Come around and even if you can't agree it doesn't make what either of you are feeling wrong! Good luck mumma