I don't really know how to put this into words or even what anyone can do, I guess I just want to know I'm not alone.
I am turning 30 in 2 weeks and the closer it gets the more I am dreading it. I am not where I wanted to be in life. I'm a single mum. I'm not working. I'm very over weight. I'm struggling with my own health issues as well as my kids health issues. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and wouldn't change them for anything. I'm just not where I thought I would be at 30.
I'm going out for dinner with my family for my birthday and I know that is just going to be another let down. It always is. I don't have any local friends and I won't even be able to have a few drinks because I will have to drive. I guess I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself but it's stressing me out and I can't sleep and needed to get it out and had no one else to tell. I just want to feel special on my birthday and not have it feel like just another day where I am expected to be and do everything. And then of course I feel guilty for feeling like that.
2 Replies
Welcome to adulthood!
When I turned 30, I organised a party and 1 person other than my boyfriend showed up. I have a pool table and a dart board and you know what fuck it!! I went to the pub and got drunk with my boyfriend instead. I'm now 31 half way to 32 and my life could not be better. You just have to stop worrying. The more you worry the harder it'll be. Learn to have fun on your own, go out and meet new people, put yourself out there and ask if you can sit with a bunch of chicks and make some new friends. I have anxiety and meeting new people was always hard for me but even I managed to do it. Especially after a few drinks. If you don't put yourself out there who's going to? You just have to think fuck it!! If someone doesn't like you "who cares" it's not about pleasing anyone but you. You need to make it happen no one else can make it happen for you.