My 8 year old's father is technically homeless. He stays at different friend's houses. He wants our 8 year old to spend nights with him but our 8 year old does not want to because he hates the idea of staying somewhere where he doesn't have anything there, not even a bed of his own to sleep in. He'd have to share a bed with his dad. He feels uncomfortable staying somewhere that doesn't feel like home to him. His dad has nothing except his clothes. He is refusing to accept our son doesn't want to spend nights and won't even take into account how our son feels about it. He is just demanding I make him stay.
He hasn't got a job and isn't making any effort to improve his situation. He has always been an irresponsible person but he got into drugs last year and lost everything! He says he is now clean.
Would the courts force sleep overs in a situation like that?
My son is used to a happy stable home with myself, my husband and his little brother and sister. We have never once said anything negative to him anout his father's lifestyle and situation. He gets quite upset when his dad tries to convince him to stay.
7 Replies
Similar, he used to come here but always argued so i stopped it. Then he wanted to come for a play i said no. (Loses and breaks things and always arguments over it) so finally i said no. Get your own nappies, clothes, pram, blankets, everything ready for them then you can father them.
You can take them for a few hours, a day, or book a caravan park and stay overnight. He didnt see them for 4 months and now has rented a place close to them, has everything he needs and a suitable setup for them. He will start parenting them soon, hopefully.
While he wasnt, we were all fine. Better than when he was doing it half-assed.
I dont see a court forcing a child into that unstable environment. Id like to think a safe, stable address at least is required.
I would like to think a stable address is required too...and a bed for the child to sleep in.
I'm not sure but I highly doubt a court would enforce an overnight stay to no fixed address but that's just my opinion. I'd tell him to take you to court, might push him into sorting his shit out!
It sounds unlikely that a court would force a sleepover under those circumstances. I'd start the mediation process again, just to cover your arse and getting documentation to show you aren't with holding, but that your child needs a stable environment.
I'd be more open to sleep overs if it was at grandparents house each time.
Hi, OP here. His whole family is dysfunctional. Either into drugs or not in the picture. Our son hasn't seen his dad's parents since he was a little baby. They are strangers to him. I don't even know where they live. So family or grandparents isn't an option.
I have tried mediation but he didn't show up on the day. He decided to refuse to do it. So the mediator had to give me a certificate for court.
Then on that basis continue to refuse the sleep overs. Sounds unlikely that he could organise himself enough to take you to court anyway!
I was in court with my sister when she was dealing with custody and we heard the case before us...the mother living in nsw was forced to drive 6ish hrs and meet the dad at a McDonald's to drop her kids off (he also had to drive the same distance) for the holidays for him to take them wherever...he had past drug offences, drink driving offences and when the mother said he had no fixed address and the last known place was some kind of truck stop the judge said it doesn't matter if he lives in a tent he has a right to see his kids ? I actually couldn't believe it! They had to return to court 2 weeks later to sort out getting the kids back to mum so until then she had no idea where they would be for the holidays.
I was shocked and disgusted that a judge would actually force this, so yes it is possible they will, however if you are allowing visitation and live in the same town then it may be a better outcome. I feel part of the reason the judge was so harsh was because the mother had left qld and moved to nsw, not that I blame her at all for that considering his records!!
It would take quite a while to actually get into a courtroom though, first step is mediation and it's a lengthy process so if you hold your ground and say yes to visitation but no overnights then he would have to start the process of mediation etc. by the time it even got to court he may well be in a better position anyway.