Stressed, cranky, lost who I am.

I'm lost. I don't know where it went wrong. I used to be the fun mum. The one who didn't care of the mess who always had things organised to do. I've now turned into the cranky mum. I'm always cranky. ? It breaks my heart. I don't want to be cranky.
I separated nearly two years ago due to DV. He still tries to control aspects of my life. He stresses me out and I'm so over having to deal with him. We still have a joint property. Daughter doesn't go unsupervised. We have visits at a public place. I supervise.
I've gained 30 kilos. That's depressing in itself. I find it hard to get up and motivated. I can't seem to think of ideas to do with her. We have a sandpit, swing set (she's getting a big playgym for Xmas from me), trampoline etc but that stuff gets boring as she gets super bossy and I've got to play by her rules. It's not fun.
I feel like I've lost myself, and my patients. I never ever felt like this and I've always been so I top of things despite everything. Yes the house got messy etc but I never stressed as j thought out time together was more important.
How do I get this back? How do I think of different things to do? I'm so unfit that even jumping on the trampoline for very little time makes me feel puffed. I worked so hard to get fit after my daughter. I put on 20 kilos while pregnant and i lost 30 kilos after. I loved that person. I felt so much happier. I binge eat ? And I hate it. I'm not even hungry but I continue to eat.
I just wish I could have me back. I miss going for runs. My daughters now too heavy for my pram so I can't run. I don't have funds for a gym.
I'm laying in bed hating myself for my crankiness. The morning was wonderful. Didn't yell didn't get cranky. But I feel so guilty for my crankiness and yelling this afternoon. I don't want to yell. I don't want my daughter growing up with that. I grew up with my dad screaming at me and it was shit. I don't want to be that mum. How do I fix it? How do I get me back.
I can't get rid of some of the stress it's impossible until ex decides he wants to quit using our property to try to get me to do what he wants and he signs to sell it.
I'm feeling soo lost and don't know where to go from here.