Hi Ladies..
I have a nearly two year old boy who loves to destroy things. He breaks things and laughs, he chases my dog and hits him and grabs his back and like pinches and grabs him so hard my son is shakes from the effort. He picks up books, toys whatever he can and beats the dog with it, he tries to run over the top of him with his toy scooter and electric quad bike. He opens and shuts the cupboard doors repeatedly and hard so they make a loud noise.
My normal day routine is getting the dog, myself and my son out of the house for a solid few hours to wear him out. We go walking kms to the creek for swimming and exploring and then walks to the oval to run around and then to a park to play on the swings and another swim. He then sleeps and as soon as he's up if i'm not taking him outside for playtime or for swims in the pool to keep him distracted he's straight to terrorising the dogs and breaking thins. He's pegged 4 toys at the wall, broken a toy truck, as i'm writing this.
We aren't violent, we don't smack, we do naughty chair and time out and confiscating toys. My partner and I arent in an abusive relationship. If i tell him no he covers his ears and screams a blood curdling scream that has my dog running away, will throw himself on the floor and cry. I don't pay him attention anymore when he does the screaming and throwing himself on the floor because he stops the behaviour quicker if i don't give him a reaction.
It's so exhausting to spend everyday out. Today i NEEDED to do some washing and already the house is trashed, he's thrown crazy tantrums, terrorised the dog. My dogs has like PTSD from my kid, he cowers from my 2 year old. What am i doing wrong? persistence isn't working here. When he knows he's not allowed to do something he'll look you dead in the eyes while he's doing it and then laugh. Im at my whits end.
3 Replies
Mumma who raised Beth difficult child here!
It's time to keep the dog away from your son unless you are within arms reach to monitor the interaction. Take a few moments in the day to take your son over to the dog and hand over hand prompt your son to pat the dog. Praise the SH*T out of your son for patting the dog nicely, then remove the dog. This is for your sons safety as well as the dogs safety. Dogs only accept so much before they turn and bite. So you need to protect both of them.
Get the toys locked away in locked cupboards. Take a box of toys out sit down with your son and model/prompt how to play with the toys, praise the SH*T out of your son for playing the right way. If you catch him playing with something correctly and doing the right thing, praise the SH*T out of him.
Things you don't think he should have, lock them up! We had magnet locks on all of our kitchen cupboards etc to stop the kitchen being trashed.
If I went to the loo, my son got locked in the loo with me, if I did the washing my son had to come with me to the laundry and then to the washing line etc. I couldn't leave him for a second.
With toddlers (under 2.5) I've never found punishment that effective. They don't really discriminate between good attention and bad attention. But the more good attention they get the better.
You already sound like he gets a lot of good attention and so I think it's a good idea to get your son seen by a peadiatrician to rule out any disorders/conditions. For my son that was ASD and once he got the diagnosis we were able to access support and things got a lot better faster. It can take awhile to get an appointment with a peadiatrician so I'd start the process now. You can always cancel the appointment if his behaviour settles down, but you will kick yourself later, for not starting the process if it doesn't settle.
Separate the dog. Let him know why. Get him a trampoline and boxing bag or other activities to get his energy out sounds like he feels good with heavy sensory activities look into what things other similar kids like to do. Rocking, swinging, jumping, hitting activities.
Sounds like u have your hands full
Book him into a gp first up as u will need a referal to then see a pediatrician like now
Separate the dog and the child
The dog has probably had a gut full Too
Always praise your child
Try really hard not to yell at him
As hard as it is
Sounds like your doing the best anyone could do