Ok my parents are super irritating and I'm usually able to ignore, but mum got to me today.
I have a gorgeous, happy, healthy, thriving 9 month old baby girl. She is very attached to me and will become upset if I move away from her line of sight or leave the room etc.
Mum will often comment something like "what's wrong with her? None of you kids were like that" etc. During one episode today when she became upset, my mum even remarked that she doesn't know "how she's going to get on in life".
How do I respond to this? Not sure why it got to me today so much but It really did. Argh parents!
5 Replies
Firstly you can should say 'yes she might be clingy now, but it's just a phase and she will grow out of it'
Secondly 'I'm surprised you don't remember us doing it as kids, as its a perfectly normal developmental phase'
Thirdly 'she is learning about the world still and a baby at 9mth old is not any indication of the adult they will grow up to be'
Also that being sensitive is a character trait that is really damaging if its ignored and bullied out of a kid. If shes sensitive she will get on in the world just fine, just differently to your mum. I would tell her she needs to be open to her not meeting her expectations and the real question is how is your mum going to get on with that.
When my mum oversteps I politely tell her she has raised her kids and made plenty of mistakes along the way and it's time for her to let me raise my kids and make my own mistakes too!
I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job x
Hahaha, I have had my mum say "well none of you kids did that" my response was "you do realise that my child isn't 'one of your kids'" or I say "yeah that may be true however, their dad was like that as a child"
I have even told my mum "you parented your way and I will parent mine".
Say to your mum "you do realise that she is 9 months old and learning about life, she's not out there exploring it on her own yet?".
My mum and I have never been close and I honestly don't care if she gets upset at me for not living life how she expects.
Firstly I'm sure you really are doing a wonderful job !! Having your 9month old be very attached to you is normal development! AND a great sign she has secure attachment with you . You are her Rock and secure place ! For her If you walk away it's like someone took off her limb ;) believe in yourself as your child ! ! I'm
Not sure what your mums deal is but I'd bet you kids did do it too but either she patented differently and ignored it or it was such a short phase she forgot about it !?
I think I'd either try to explain what I believe is happening for her , there are lots of recourses out there that can simply explain it !? Look up attachment development , try checking out the wonder weeks information as well which explains developmental leaps , look up info from dr sears just to start which will help arm you with reputable information to give to
Your mum
Should you feel the need to explain it . Otherwise it also helps reassure you your doing wonderfully and your mum can just ... yeah that ;)