Hi
Just wanted to know if anyone else is sick of hearing poor mummy stories where not one person takes into account the children?
Does anyone put kids first anymore?
Is getting your hair done more important than seeing your child everyday?
Do we have such a bad teenage crime rate because babies are being palmed off at 6 weeks and possibly already feel neglected about who they are and where they belong and who is going to always be there for them before they start kinder?
I've done it hard, three kids on spp due to dv, ppl from this page have told me I'm a shit mother and my kids will grow up expecting hand outs.... but I think one parent should be with their child, why are mums on here whinging about their mil, their daycare, their centre etc "turning their kids into arseholes" Maybe a sense of neglect, worry and confusion in the poor child are behind the bad behaviours but very rarely do I see anyone on here actually mentioning the children it's all about poor mummy! Their are cat centres out there if you want an independent new born
24 Replies
OMG that's all I can say
Now that I've calmed down from reading this .....
You are very very wrong.
Plus the reality of the world is such that not everyone has the choice to stay at home. I know I certainly did not have that choice.
We are living in a world where the rental market is extremely tight and super expensive! purchasing a property is a mere dream for most.
Not everyone can get government housing (I waited 3 years despite being classified as a high priority due to child's severe disabilities someone else would have to wait 20!!!!).
Parenting payment cuts out when your child reaches 8, and the longer you are out of work for the harder it is to get back into work so you are popped onto unemployment which is subsistence living at best).
So no, people aren't dumping there children in day care or with families just so they can get there hair done! They are doing it because most of us have NO choice.
Even if you are lucky enough to have a supportive partner for now, who knows how long that will last for. You of ALL people should understand that it might be important to keep some self sufficiency, have some of your own income coming in. Because marriages don't always last for ever and if your kids are already 8 years old and you don't have a career, guess what??? You end up on unemployment benefits! Not single parent pension.
Despite all that.
There is excellent scientific evidence that shows that quality is far more important than quantity when it comes to spending time with your kids. I know some stay at home mums who have raised some really shitty people and some working mums that have raised some brilliant amazing people. It has nothing to do with wether they were SAHM or not and everything to do with the Quality of there parenting!
Wow...
http://www.mamamia.com.au/children-in-day-care/
Not saying that daycare or sahm is better in any way, but this might reassure any readers who are upset by this mum's opinion.
Wow not sure if this is genuine or a troll
If it's genuine then there are better ways to express your opinion without the nastiness
You know what not everyone is comfortable letting others pay their way. Do u think that mother who HAVE to work whether it be for finacial reasons or whether its for a mental health reason do not feel guilty they cant stay at home? Do you think that sahm mums dont feel guilty that they arent contributing to their family finacially? I have both worked and been a sahm and both have the same guilt (and i do not recieve anything from centrelink).Maybe instead of blasting other mothers for whatever they do maybe u should be fucken thankful they are paying your fucken way in life. Get off your high horse
Yep, if we all opted out of the work force jeez no taxes to pay for single parent payment!
Sick of being bagged out for being a mum, bags out other mums, makes sense :/
Makes perfect sense hey, not sure of the logic behind the thinking of
'l'll make a post saying I hate the way people judge me and I'll throw in a heap of rude judgements against everyone else'
Very bitter if this person is real and not trolling
Just so all you mums out there that are offended by this "mothers" post. Please be aware that not all mums on the SPP feel like this. I'm on the SPP due to leaving a DV Relationshit. My kids are Autistic so going back to work isn't on the cards as yet. I'm a firm believer that every mum should do what is best for their family. This post made me so angry because I've been a working mum and a SAHM none of my kids felt neglected and none of them are going to grow up expecting hand outs because it's all about how I am raising them. Please ignore this person as she clearly has no idea about how hard the real world is and lives solely in her own little world. I am thankful that our country is able to support me the way it is. I fully intend to repay what I've taken once I've taught my children to be awesome little members of society. Please go about doing what you are doing. And doing what's right for you and your families ?
Lovely xx
What you wrote ^^
I think it's such a poor view to have on the world, no parent wants to go to work, no parent wants to pay others to look after their kids, no parent will willingly give up time at home with their kids for work but these are Things people have to do and it's wrong to be so judgemental because you can survive and be at home,and if you can then more power to you! But there are people out there who can't survive whether it be financial, mental, emotional or whatever reason they have. I have been lucky to have been at home with my kids, due to a hardworking partner and ALOT of sacrifice but now after 3 years I am re-entering the workforce, why? Because I need to! And I don't need anyone making me feel guilty about that just as you don't need anyone making you feel guilty for not, your life is yours and you should raise your children and live your life guided by your own moral compass and your own standards, whether people agree with your choices or not is irrelevant but it's wrong to put others down because of difference, yep daycare might help raise my kids but i am mum and right now mum needs to be able to think and plan and make a change for their future, to do my very best in my own power to do what's best, by my own way just as you do by yours, there is no right or wrong way to parent and quality time will always win out over quantity and you cannot know how every single person lives their life, the sacrifices they make to do so, you cannot possibly know what they do in their homes or their hearts, and to use words like 'neglect' 'arseholes' that is such a negative way to approach such a tried and hotly debated topic- I'm sorry people have been less than kind and supportive of you and your life, it isn't fair! And neither is putting down any other mum or dad who has to do these things that your so highly offended by, that's the pot calling the kettle black, why not try for the understanding you wish you had received?
Here's my opinion;
Whilst you got to stay home with your babies, I was working my guts out to not only support my child, to give him everything he wanted and/or needed, but so I could pay this little thing called tax (in case you didn't know, that's how you get your lovely pension).
While you left you DV relationship and stayed home with your kids, I too escaped a DV relationship and kept my baby safe from his father.
While you probably rented a lovely home for you and your 3 kids, I worked my arse off and my baby and I purchased our own home just before my 20th birthday, $170,000, 3 bedroom, big block, but it's not a house that we rent, it's a house that we own.
Whilst you get your rent paid for free, because you CAN'T work, I work 4 days a week to pay my mortgage, to pay for my medical appointments for my second baby and preschool and school clothes for next year for my 5 year old, food, and registration (oh you get that for free too).
I love my job, I can take my son with me if he isn't at preschool, or, sometimes I leave him with my mother (god, forgive me!)
Perhaps they are judging you because you're taking hand outs from the government that are for people in need instead of standing on your own two feet. You should try it one day ?
When I pass away, my children inherit a house and my super. Perhaps you should think about what your kids inherit, because I don't believe they can recieve your pension.
And for the record, I do not judge single parents on the pension, if they need it.
I do not judge mothers who can stay home and care for their kids (whether that's because their partner works or because they are on the pension) I'm actually a little jealous.
But for women like you, you really piss me off.
Do not judge other people for trying to get ahead in life just because you're stuck in the same position and never moving forward.
Best comment! I'm a sahm/university student have been a sahm for 8 years with 3 children and I couldn't agree more with your comment. I have been lucky in which we can afford for me to stay home, we have a mortgage also, we don't rely on a pension. This women gives other sahm's a bad name! How dare she. I hope to god she home schools her kids as sending them to school would be neglectful *insert sarcasm*.
I think you have done as amazing job with your life and children. Kudos to you. Ps. I love time away from my kids, I'm with the little stinkers 24/7 so getting my hair done or 'shipping' them off to nanna's is blissful!!
Well done ? it is women like you that make me proud of how much us mothers can actually do.
I too will be a stay at home mum for a while after I have my baby next year and have a fiancè who is willing to support us.
This woman wouldn't have annoyed me as much if she was doing something like you, studying or university, because pension or not, we all have to start somewhere.
I love stay at home mums, I think if I stayed home 24/7 I'd go a little insane lol.
But yes, I agree on the home schooling part for her kids lol would be very hypocritical for her not to.
I hope your university goes well and you achieve some amazing things ?
For me, following a 4 year bachelor's degree and 5 years practising as an allied health professional, I had my son. I took a year off to bond with and breastfeed my child, before I had to go back to work. Unfortunately, it's a requirement of my job to have recency of practice, meaning I have to work a certain amount of hours over a time period otherwise my degree is basically null and void or I have to jump through hoops to reinstate registration. I worked too hard to get my degree to lose it! Some other professionals have even tighter guidelines - some will only allow someone to take a year off. So it really isn't a black and white scenario for some.
A mum disrespecting other mums is horrific. Seriously.
I went back to work when my little one was very young because I did what was best for our family. It was the best decision ever. A child can be neglected by a stay at home parent as much as by a working parent. Its the quality of time your spend with your child, the experiences you share, the love and guidance that you show them that leads the way.
Show my any proof, any independent, peer-reviewed research showing that children who were in childcare were at higher risk of anti-social behaviours, committing crimes etc.
Stop judging, stop looking down on other people and just concentrate on what you do.
What about what our kids learn from having working mums?
Girls learn they have choices! They can aspire to have careers that they love. They don't have to have jobs that fill in time until they have kids. Girls learn that they don't have to have a man in order to be financially secure. Girls learn they can look after themselves and don't have to stay in toxic relationships. Girls demand better quality relationships rather than settling for a man who can only provide financial security.
Boys learn that women don't exist to look after them. Boys learn that there future wives don't exist to keep there house clean and pick up after them. They learn that women have dreams too and can go out and get shit done!
??? hallelujah for this!!! It's so important for children to learn so many things, hard work being one of them! It's important to lead by example, if I work hard and do my best to achieve my dreams I'm teaching my kids that it's possible to achieve anything but it takes work and dedication and sacrifice to make it happen!
Your post was worded badly and was not said from a kind place but, I kind of get where you are coming from. I am a single part time working mum (not that that is relevant, just giving you my situation) and in defence of this post, I was thinking the other day how every article on social media and many posts on here talk about how hard it is being a parent, the hardest job in the world, there are more bad moments than good, a thankless job, it is almost the trend to talk about how much you hate being a mum. If I were young and single now, I would be scared to have a child, lucky there was no social media back when I planned my pregnancy. I don't find parenting to be a nightmare and I have a child who has had multiple operations and is mildly physically disabled. It is like women want recognition of their parenting efforts, the lady who didn't like Santa taking the credit for the presents is an example that comes to mind. Raising wonderful human beings, bring joy and happiness to their lives through our own efforts, isn't that enough for us anymore? I think what the poster was trying to get at is a lot of the posts here are poor me, without consideration to the kids. Maybe that is because this is a judgemental free place to vent, which lets be honest, we all need to vent sometimes. As for working versus non working, we live in a 2 income society unfortunately and it just has to be that way for most.
You chose to be a SAHM and that's your choice but don't ever look down on working mums doing what they think is right for their families, no matter what you might believe you have not by any measure done it harder than everyone else out there.
Not all of us have the luxury of sitting at home on welfare - some of us need to work to survive. Just think of all of us out there paying taxes so you can get your spp. Best of luck to you when your youngest turns 8 & you get put on Newstart ?