Where do I start really?
11 yr old step son(ADHD is medicated)is really pushing buttons and limits beyond normal child like behavior!
He is such an aggressive child to the point where on a camping trip in October he tried to attack me with a machete throw bricks at me in front of 5 younger kids. His dad was getting wood for the fire at the time it happened and I tried to defuse the situation. Amongst kids screaming and crying (3 of which were my own) because they were scared he would hurt me. I calmed them down and went to a safe place away from him till his father got back. Father never dealt with it till we went home 2 days later.
Come returning to school after the school holidays. It's a constant battle to get him out of bed and eat breakfast but when I do as soon as his father leaves he treats me like crap yells swears and takes off at 8am for school (which is only a 5 minute walk but he rides his bike). This hasn't been happening for weeks since school went back. This morning he took off without his lunchbox and drink bottle. His father took it to the school and the principal has told him that he came to school with a pocket full of lollies! We have a safe for all our money ect because he has stolen in excess of $80 off us before. It appears he has been stealing from the local supermarket. Living in a small town his behavior is reflected back on our family and it's embarrassing!
We are due to move after Xmas and I'm scared of having him move with us because ATM we have no neighbours and when we move we will be surrounded by houses.
The constant yell screaming and abuse towards everyone including father and siblings is my main concern. I don't want to have the police randomly turn up because of this!
I'm so lost frustrated and physically and mentally drained!
Sorry just needed a vent!
7 Replies
Oh gosh. No advice but that sounds really tough! How awful for you xx
Oh goodness, that sounds so stressful! What an amazing stepmum you are to this confused, angry little boy!
Firstly I would be booking an appointment with a Paediatrician before you move, taking along your husband. Get organised for the appointment:- write a journal of triggers, behaviours of concern (machete incident, school refusal, etc), get reports from his teacher.
Secondly I would be researching parenting a child with ADHD & trying to implement changes at home.
Thirdly, look into Triple P parenting of children with disabilities, he is 11 years old & that's a hard enough age let alone with behaviour disorder.
Finally, I would be asking his Mum if she has any hot tips for what works in her home. You need to be working as a team if at all possible.
Good luck with it all!!!
No mother in this equation. She chose drugs over her kids so the less contact I have with her the better.
Ahhh ok then. In which case it's up to you & your husband to sort this out ASAP. I would also suggest contacting your state department of disabilities for advice about strategies. Good luck xx
Is he medicated? I know no one likes to do it, but I have heard stories of kids completely turning around after being medicated. Even the kids are glad they are taking it. Also, it may not even be adhd, it may be PTSD or something from his druggie mother. The behaviour is extreme, def get referral to paediatrician and psychologist, best to get it sorted now before the teenage years. You sound like an awesome step mum, he is lucky to have you.
He is medicated. Ritalin 40mg a day and catapress at night and it's not working but the paed said that's all they can do at this stage.
Firstly, having adhd or any other illness is no excuse for violence, aggression or even disrespectful behaviour unless his dad steps up now and his mum and changes the rules, consequences for bad behaviour you will be visiting him in jail in a few years! Sorry to be harsh but our jails are full of kids that didn't have rules, you need to keep yourself and your children safe too, maybe moving to town is a good thing, if the police actually come out a few times it might straighten him out a bit, but you all need to put in the hard work now.