Help! I'm at my wits end with my 7 year old son. He disrespects me, talks back to me & constantly says I'm evil & mean. Constantly taunts his younger brother (which is normal of course lol!) I'm a sahm & im actually considering going back to work just so I don't have to deal with his crap anymore. He constantly argues with me, to the point where I yell. Today I stayed calm until he kept pushing & pushing & pushing. I've tried time out, positive reinforcement, one on one time, confiscating his toys, banning him from technology & bribery. I feel like I'm a failure at this. Nothing is ever good enough. He's the same toward hubby, so it's not just me. The only thing that's changed is that he's moving school next year. Could this be a reason? It's gotten much worse the last 2 months or so. I wish I never became a sahm & find myself yearning for the days before kids. I spend one on one time with him once a week after school, but anytime we do something nice, it ends with him saying I'm mean. Bedtime has become a nightmare, with him crying & saying he wants to stay up with us. I'm already on medication but find myself getting down again. I went to a parenting course, but they were not helpful at all. I feel like running away!!
2 Replies
This is very typical behaviour for a 7 year old.
Pick your battles. If you ask him to do something and he does it (but back chats) ignore the back chatting.
You don't say what parenting course you did. When my son was diagnosed with ODD I did the Triple P one that the public hospital put me onto and OMG. I was a different mum and he became an almost different boy. The trick I learned that helped us was negotiation - and it's not on your list so maybe one to try. By negotiation I mean, showers are non-negotiable but it has to feel like they're in control. So he knew he had to be showered by 6:30pm, consequences of choosing not to was that I would drag him in the bathroom and shower him. If he walked out of the bathroom and his hair stank because it wasn't washed he was sent straight back in. Feeding the dogs is one of his chores and I just made the rule that it had to be done by 6pm at night. Consequence of not feeding the dogs on time was a/ having to do it in the dark and b/ having food he really dislikes for dinner. Bed time had a rule (age appropriate of course) and ours was bed time was 7:30 (when he was 7 years old) and one night a week - a night of his choosing - he could stay up until 8pm. When he was being particularly difficult at first he had a mattress we'd drag out, we'd put him on the mattress in the lounge room but he wasn't allowed to get up, if he got up he had to go to bed. He'd be asleep within 30 minutes just from being forced to stop moving. Even getting ready for school, we never had the dragging a teenager out of bed drama, he had his own alarm and the rule was get up whenever you like but if you're not ready for the school bus there will be consequences, which was I would then drive him to school in my pj's, get out, escort him to the office so they knew he had arrived and then walk him to his first class and give him a kiss infront of his friends. He never tested that one much to my disgust... Nobody ever told us it was going to be so hard but keep going, keep trying, never give in.