This is probably going to cause a lot of different opinions but I'm curious as to how people can have the conscience to lie to their kids about Santa ?
I feel like I want to get into the spirit of Christmas, it's my absolute favourite holiday but the thought of lying to my 6yo about Santa really doesn't sit well with me.
To have presents from 'Santa' have 'Santa' write him a letter etc but it doesn't feel right!
Why should I give a fictitious creature all the credit for my hard work spending money on gifts, wrapping them etc... Why is it appropriate to have a stranger deliver presents to my child when we wouldn't accept one from a random man at the shopping centre? Why is it okay to sit on a mans lap (dressed as Santa) in the shops for a photo? We are essentially contradicting ourselves teaching our children stranger danger but we will let them sit on some randoms lap to take a photo? I don't understand! It makes me cringe. I feel like the grinch but I'm just trying to understand people's thoughts about this? I can't seem to come around to lie to my son, it'll absolutely break his heart! This'll be the first year he'd fully understand Christmas. He has already figured out that the Santa in shopping centres are always different because they're costumes are always slightly different, some fat some skinny. Some with glasses, long beard, short, different skin colour etc. But he still thinks Santa will come and deliver presents with his reindeer. I just brush him off because I can't lie, but I don't want to break his spirit :(
Santa Claus Lies!
Santa Claus Lies!
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Education, Behaviour
7 Replies
So you don't read fantasy/fiction books to your child? You don't let your child dress up or play make believe? Children love pretend and magic and so do we adults! So what if we all play a game of make believe once a year. We decorate the house and have a ball pretending. I knew or guessed by the time I was in primary school and still loved to play along.
To me Christmas is about magic. The magic of family, of love,of pure joy and giving. Its a day where time stand still you dont have any other worries its truly just about the day and enjoying it with those you love and love you. Im not aware of any child who has resented their parents for "lying" about Santa. I certainly do not resent mine and I know my 2 teenagers dont resent me. Some of my fondest memories of childhood are of Christmas. If I was you I would think of your childs sheer delight on Christmas morning. If you can not do that then im sorry but you are a grinch
Exactly it's not a lie its letting your kids experience magic, there is so little in this world that can create that kind of feeling! Sure it's great to get presents but without that magic it's just not as special, I don't know any kids who are now old enough to know that the truth who feel liked they were lied to in fact most wish they never knew the truth because it made Christmas a little less special do t think of it as a lie but more of preserving an innocence that can be gone too quickly! You don't have to tell him anything just go along with it and say you don't know what happens at Christmas as its a big secret. Just look at how he feels about Santa, if he is excited and in awe and wonder just let it be that, most kids know at around 10 these days so you will maybe only have 4 years to see that, it's not long at all
Presents- I always had separate presents. All the expensive stuff came from me and dad and our son knew this. Then there was a "Santa bag" full of goodies. I did it this way because we're a bit successful and comfortable in an area where many are not, I didn't want him to believe "Santa" would be giving him expensive things and his school friends cheaper items and same for his school friends, I didn't want them to believe they were worth less because "Santa" gave them less. The idea was that Santa gave everyone something and then if they could mum and dad would add some pressies for a good boy (or girl) too. I also told him that with new house designs Santa can't actually get in anymore so he has to come to the door and knock like a normal person for mummy to let him in. His Santa bag when he was younger was worth maybe $20-30, things like a can of his favourite soft drink that he could drink when he wanted, a packet of his favourite lollies, small books, yoyos, character drink bottle, a new mug, colourful socks, character jocks, a disposable camera to capture his Christmas memories, new lunch box - pretty much the kind of stuff I expected other kids would get too. He sat on Santas knee once for a photo, more just to say he did than any desire to do so. Every other year he wasn't interested and I wasn't either so I didn't push. We've never left out beer and cookies but I did wait until he was asleep to sneak the Santa bag out under the tree (gosh we're so slack now I don't even put up a tree). For us Santa is about family tradition and making Christmas memories.
Just think back to when you were a child.
Do you resent your parents for letting you believe in Santa?
As an adult, do you appreciate all the Santa gifts that your parents worked undoubtedly hard for?
Christmas is one of those special times in a child's life that they look back on with fond memories. Let him be a child and enjoy it, kids grow up so fast these days.
I think it's also a good idea to teach kids that Christmas isn't just about getting gifts (as I'm sure you already do). It's about giving and spreading joy and being with family. I personally keep the religious aspect to a minimum as our family aren't particularly religious but I think it's important they do know about baby Jesus etc.
:-)
I don't focus so much on the Santa and presents side of Christmas. I feel that it's a time to be grateful for everything you have. I focus on the magic that Christmas time brings and I try to make it as exciting and happy and magical as possible for my kids. I've started many Christmas traditions. Putting up the Christmas tree is a special family event, driving around and looking at Christmas lights, Christmas baking, making handmade gifts for family and friends, writing out Christmas cards for classmates, Advent calendars and our elf on the shelf, all pretty much make Christmas a month-long celebration for us, not just one day full of presents.
When it comes to presents, Santa brings a few small 'stocking stuffers', but anything big / expensive is a present from me. I put together a Christmas Eve box for us to open as a family the night before Christmas. We all get new PJ's, a book to share before bedtime, and some treats to eat while watching a movie that night. I also use Christmas as a chance to teach my kids how wonderful it feels to give to others. In a way we're all 'Santa', I really don't see it as a big lie that you have to feel guilty about. I remember the moment my siblings and I found out that Santa wasn't real. I laughed so hard that I cried. I didn't resent my mother at all. She was a single mother and our Christmas stocking were often half-filled with cheap crappy toys but when I found out that it was her and not Santa giving me those gifts, I felt nothing but gratitude towards her.
I think you need to stop worrying about it so much. Teach your child about stranger danger. Show him how wonderful it feels to GIVE and not just RECEIVE gifts. Get him to choose a gift to put under the Kmart wishing tree. Take credit for all the expensive presents you give him at Christmas and let 'Santa' give the basics. Make it as magical as possible for your little boy because one day he'll grow up, and hopefully then he'll know how to make life enjoyable and magical for his own family. Even as an adult I wholeheartedly believe in magic and miracles. I know a lot of people probably think I'm a bit of a whacko. When my own kids question the existence of Santa I tell them "I believe in Santa. I believe in magic. I believe in the power of giving and making other people feel loved and appreciated". Focus on what's important.
Yeah I think is the sort of thing that people can have very strong opinions on, but in the end just do what works for you and your family. It doesn't have anything to do with anyone else. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, and I never had Xmas, B'days, Easter etc. While I did not stick with it as an adult, I found it difficult to teach my kids to believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny etc because of my upbringing. So I don't bother. I taught them that it's a tradition that most kids believe in and eventually find out the truth about as they are older. My kids still love Xmas and joke about Santa bringing pressies and what not. But I did make a point of telling them that other kids do believe in it, and it's not ok to try to tell other kids that he's not real, as that would upset them and their parents. My kids actually found it cool to be in on the joke so to speak, and they play along that it's real with their friends. I'm a firm believer that there's "More than one way to skin a cat," meaning that if you want to teach your kids to believe in Santa / Magic / made up stuff, that's ok. But if you don't, then that's ok too. There is no ONE right way to bring up your kids. So go ahead and take credit for those pressies if you want. YOU are their mum and no-one else should be able to make you feel bad for your decision. Everyone is different, and if they weren't, life would be very dull!