Stepfather and abuse.
I was sexually abused by my stepdad. From 5 to 12 and then removed to foster care.
My sister is his full daughter and never really understands.
My stepdad has been in my life as my sister has said she can't be in my life if I block him.
I just had a baby and the triggers and memories are huge so I blocked him from my life.
My sister is so mad at me and said i owe him an explanation and if he kills himself its on my head.
I don't want to talk to him it makes me go into a full panic.
I don't feel I owe him anything. He didn't consider me when he did what he did.
Am I selfish?
9 Replies
Oh hell no! You need to block her from your life too
Your sister is being selfish. Fair enough if she wants ro continue a relationship with her father thats her choice. But forcing it onto you? So selfish.
Maybe you need some counseling to sort it all out so you're at peace. Especially because youve just had a baby its hard emotionally when your family's a mess
No you aren't selfish! You shouldn't ever have to see or hear anything about that horrible man ever again.
Your sister is trying to emotionally blackmail you.
Anyone that thinks you should maintain contact with that guy is twisted.
No you are not selfish. Keep that baby of yours safe from him in case he decides to also target your baby. Look after yourself. You and your baby come first. Xx
Your not selfish i would do the same thing
No you're not.
I was sexually abused by my step father too but unlike you I've not had any contact with him since I was 15. Over 25 years.
His daughters, my sisters, don't have any contact with him either. They never would. What he did was disgusting and any right minded person would agree. Your sister is probably telling herself that if you allow him to be in your life what he did is not that bad. She doesn't want to face the truth.
Your sister is the one that's being selflish and unreasonable. For your own mental health I completely understand why you'd block him from your life. It might mean your sister won't be there for you but that's her choice.
You are not selfish, my uncle adopted me at eleven and groomed me until I was 15 and started molesting me then. My sister and I have a don't speak about him agreement, he was the perfect stepdad to her, tried to rape me. I love my sister and she loves me, we have both lost so many people, had kids, etc, he's in her life, I won't accept him anywhere near mine. She doesn't mention him, and I don't bring him up. It sucks this is between us, but I'd much rather have my sister than let this mother fucker get between us.
Oh hell no !!! Block him and if your sister can't understand then sorry but she needs to be distanced as well !! Don't let him come anywhere near you or your children !!!!! You do not need him and you do not deserve the stress or trauma of the triggers !!!!! He does not deserve a moment of your time or thoughts !!!!!!
Big hugs stay strong !!
What the actual f*ck???!! ???
You are NOT selfish. Not even one iota of what you are doing is selfish. You are the victim here and what she is doing is trying to make him look like it. Saying if he kills himself, it's on you is so infuriating I can't even begin to describe how livid that makes me! If he does anything to himself, it's because he's a coward and he's done the wrong thing and he knows it. She should be bloody ashamed of even
putting that on you. Maybe she doesn't understand because she doesn't have the full story, i don't know. Maybe she doesn't want to come to terms with the fact that her father isn't the person she thought he was. Either way, you are doing the right thing cutting him out and I'd be cutting her out of my life as well. You shouldn't have to tear yourself up inside every time you see him for the sake of a relationship with her. If you were my sister, I'd be walking away from that jackass with your hand in mine. ❤️