Im just about to be offered a fantastic job opportunity but i fear i want be able to take it. My husband puts alot of pressure on me in terms of our family. He doesnt help at all as he runs his own buisness and feels thats to hard. He comes and goes as he pleases never stopi g to think of me. I feel like im constantly aving to sacrafice to ensure my kids have a parent. Im starting to recent him and even recent my children (6,4 and 1yrs). How do i make him see he needs to make sacrifices 2 and that i have dreams and career goals to? How do i deal with the resentment im feeling?
4 Replies
Honestly, I think he should be helping you more for sure, but when you have young kids, there's usually one in the partnership who is the primary carer and foregoes their career for a while. Also, you have to be practical, who is the larger earner? Having your own business is a 24/7 thing, you don't get to just clock out like everyone else. Having said that, if you think you could make this opportunity work with Childcare for the kids ect, I think you should go for it, but do it knowing that he probably has to work long hours and won't be able to do minding or pick ups and you will have to manage it. I'm just trying to show you both sides, I wish you luck with what you choose.
If you want it go for it. Lay down the law with husband about the way it is. Seems he thinks he decides its your job and you can manage without so much as a conversation.
Speak up. Costs are split - not yours. Theres many benefits to working. Its your decision, your future, just as much as it his not to be a sahd or work part time.
I think in this day and age it's really important to have your own career. If something happens to your partner or he decides to leave you the government won't protect you. Gone are the days of widows pensions and single parents pension until your kids are adults. The largest growing group of homeless people is amongst women who gave up on having a career to have kids, husbands left when they were 50+ and they are now in newstart and homeless!!
We are well past the point where we can live in a 1950s mentality of everything will be ok because I don't need a career because hubby will always look after me. Alimony is rarely awarded in Australia. Men need to start understanding how vulnerable there wives become and start supporting them in having a career.
So my thinking is what ever hubby decides, start your dream career.
Personally I would give it a go. If it doesn't work at least you tried.
I need to work, thats just me.... hubby had to suck it up, as if I didn't work I am not happy.... No one is happy if I'm not.
Hubby got a bit I earn the money, Clean my house. I got back at him with a full time job while he tried to run his own business.
Our kids are 14 months apart. He soon came out of boss man attitude.
I have recently given up my job to help him out as the business is growing.
I was very clear how I felt about his attitude and if it comes through I will go back to work. He will have to pay someone to do my job.