Hi,
I am just wondering. I am happily newly married to an absolutely amazing man who has never done anything to make me question him as a person or his devotion.
But I was in a very long dv relationship a few years ago that was extremely emotionally, verbally and physically abusive and because of that was single for a long but I love my husband with all my heart and know 110% in my heart he would never hurt me in this way or any other way. But why can't I shake the feeling?
Has anyone else felt this way and how did you handle it so that you can give 110% of yourself to them and not feel like you need to guard yourself?
4 Replies
I think it's the same with any betrayal. Even cheating it's hard to ever think someone else won't cheat on you right? Trust is broken and you become a little bit more weary. So it's understandable that even though your new husband is amazing that you can shake the feeling stemming from your previous dv relationship. I think all you can do is give it time. A few years ago isn't that long as far as dv goes. It takes a really long time to get past.
Try counselling but other than that only time can help you
I even now 6 years on when I get into an argument with my now partner always freak out in my head what he will do to punish me for it. And apologise and cry. Even though he has never once ever done anything like that to me. He's always like "it's fine, babe, I wasn't even mad it was just a small argument". But I automatically go back to my previous relationship where a small argument was a big deal and I spent days paying for it.
Can't give any advice. I feel like I can live with it the way I am now but if you don't think you can then I suggest you see a therapist. X
Love like you've never been hurt.
I'm in the same boat and took me a long time to realise not all men are the same and punishing him for something he hadn't done was so unfair.
Worst case: he's secretly a dick. You CAN leave. You know this.
So love him for him.
Appreciate what he does and just enjoy it.
Thank you! Xx