My daughter is finishing grade 12 and wants to go to Uni next yr. The Uni she wants to go to is 3 hours away (we live in a small rural town). We support her 100% but are not in the position to offer her financial support. I am worried how she will cope finacially and how realisistic it is that she can actually start next yr as she wants. (She has considered a gap yr and doesn't want to wait). She currently has a part time job but no real savings. And obviously will look for work close to uni. I am aware she can get VET for her fees , I'm more worried about living expenses and the logistics of her being 17, finding somewhere to live, a job, and starting uni. Is Austudy enough to sustain them to start? How do I support her, I don't want her to go.........
She is the oldest of 5 and I'm really struggling with letting go. She is extremely smart and responsible. She definitely has her head straight but she does have some pretty big anxiety issues and is not confident in social situations.
I don't even know what I'm asking. I'm so worried about her coping, me coping, even her siblings coping (they are very close and will miss her terribly). This parenting thing is hard!
Edited to add.
I was enthusiastic when she was considering a gap yr but have never and will never put my own 'not wanting to let go' worries on her. I am very encouraging, supportive and happy for her. Just worried. I'm sure the first time is going to be the hardest!
Daughter heading to Uni, Worried
Daughter heading to Uni, Worried
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice
9 Replies
If she stays on a college on campus they provide food. Usually the youth allowance study money is enough to cover that. I believe the college will even organise with her to get paid directly from Centrelink. So if she gets a place on campus with food included and has a part time job to cover books etc she should be okay. A lot of people manage uni without help from their parents, let her try, if she fails, she has learnt a lesson and she can work for a couple of years saving and go back again. She will be fine :)
The unis always have the books they need in the library too so encourage her to only buy what she absolutely needs and borrow the others ! You really don't need to buy everything on the list !
I'm from a country town and best thing I did was live in a college for the first 2 years. It's a great way of meeting people, there's lots of other kids that are in exactly the same position starting out as well as students that have been in the city for a year or two. They're also located close to the unis, public transport, meals are provided and all of the amenities are there.. im not sure of costs, you would have to look at Centrelink. She will be fine and so will you!
I used to hire a lot of Uni students in your daughters position. She will do really well. There is plenty of share accomodation etc and on campus living and it's cheap. There is in campus employment services. And lots of industries actively employ Uni students.
Don't let your fears stop her growing up and living her life. Don't allow her to loose momentum.
Why would her siblings not cope? That sounds bizarre! And you will cope. But if you work yourself up about it you will make everyone very unhappy because they won't be able to achieve there dreams.
Talk to centerlink and the uni about it, on campus is a good idea. If she is looking at the Health Sciences http://www.nrhsn.org.au/rhino/about-us/
I work at a Uni and I know she'll be ok. There will be 100s of kids in the same boat as her, Campus Colleges are a great place to stay, Centrelink should be enough to cover it - just do your research.
Most good Uni's have an info session for parents the week before Uni starts. Call student services and find out when that is, it'll help you to feel better AND you'll know how to support her from a-far.
If you are worried about her anxiety issues haunting her, there should be on campus help for that. I am at a regional university in QLD and we have free psychologists in our library for students.
Best thing about Uni campus is the buckets of free internet, she can Skype home if your internet will cope!
Good luck!
I did it! I had uni 5 days a week then worked 2 evenings and all weekend. It was HARD! I didn't enjoy the uni years like others do. But I did it
Apply for her to stay on campus! Great way for her to get to know people and its reasonably priced! The rent covers all the bills too and its secure, they all need a security code to enter the building. And residents cant just have randoms stay without permission. She could get a job through the uni, my sister got a job at the uni café and loved it!
Trust me, sooooo many kids are in the same position as your daughter but she will be ok! She will probably cope much better than you ;-)
Speak to centrelink, she should be able to get youth allowance. Obviously she will have to learn to budget but they do survive.
I did it ! Moved at 17 ! I considered moving on campus as at 17 I still didn't have my license but then we found out a friends grandparents lived in that town and I was able to stay with them for very minimal board which centerlink was enough to cover for the first 6months and then when I got my license I decided I was big enough (haha) to go get a unit and find a house mate . It was really challenging and there were many out of money weeks but that taught me SO much about budgeting , being creative with food (and not wasteful ) , forced me out of my comfort zone in a brilliant way and I learnt so many life skills that I just know I wouldn't have if I stayed at home !! I worked night shifts (fast food and then later at a bar ) and although it was challenging I had a. Blast ! I made friends with people that were all in the same boat so we 'grew up' essentially or became adults together !!
If you know no one where she is headed and she can't get on campus look for share student accommodation ! There will be heaps out there (the uni used to have a list of student hoses looking for house mates !the rent is usually cheap as chips and they are all in
The same boat so
They'll live and learn together !! They share bills usually so
Living costs really are minimal !!
I think I saw somewhere someone said let her try and if it doesn't work out she'll still learn some big lessons and at worst she comes home again ! ;)