Dropped the eldest at school this morning seeing all the smiley faces refreshed after the holidays, people asking 'how's was your holiday' my real reply wants to be 'fucking awful' but I smile and say 'great thanks, yours'
I sat in the car and cried! I am so over my life at the moment. Over kids, work, husband, family, sleep blah blah blah.
I have two no verbal kids. My eldest has a disability and my youngest just doesn't talk, isn't toilet trained and it's my fault, I just can't get the energy to do anything. The iPad is well used in our house. I can't do it anymore. I love my kids and husband beyond belief but I can't find anything in me anymore to do anything.
I've had years of doing stuff for everyone else there's nothing left, for anyone.
My husband is a great man but I'm sick of asking him to do things, it just doesn't come naturally to him. My eldest just shouts and 'says' no continuously, I might as well be talking to myself. I'm not coping and I'm not sure what to do, I'm losing my temper, it's 1-rage in 10seconds. I do try talking to my husband but talking isn't my strong point, I am a crier. I get overly emotional and cry.
Judge me if you must but I need help.
1 Replies
I have a son with multiple disabilities, who would be considered non verbal. He is now 22, he is gorgeous. But I remember feeling like you but without the husband!
Personally the things that worked for me were having my own psychologist or counsellor. I needed that person to poor my heart out to. I also found joining some Facebook groups that were specific to my child's disability. Just being able to reach out to those that 'get it' made a massive difference.
You may not feel like it, but you are in the lucky age. If the NDIS is up and running in your area, it's time to apply. Many families are getting house cleaners, respite care, speech therapists etc all funded. Ask for everything you can think of and use what you get.
What sort of help regarding psychologists and speech therapy are your children getting? My son initially used PECs to communicate with (total life changer) and now communicates with his iPod touch.
It's time to give hubby a kick up the arse! Give him a lost of jobs to do, just like he'd have at work. Hold him to account. Or leave him with the kids for the day on the weekend and have a day to yourself! You deserve it! And hubby needs to learn to step up!