I have a nearly 7 year old boy, who twice in the last few months has had what i can only describe as a depressed moment. In both cases he broke down crying and saying he wasn't worth anything and couldn't do anything right etc.
A bit of back story: his father and I aren't together, we are both in relationships. Myself for nearly 4 years, living together for 2, and the father for less than a year and currently living together. My partner has no previous children, i have a 10 year old daughter (currently experiencing hormonal mood swings from early puberty) and the father's new partner has a 3 yr old daughter who adores my son.
My son has a huge vocabulary. Even his teacher says she's impressed with not only the words he verbalises but that he actually understands the meanings of the words too. He is a lovely caring boy. He loves video games, camping and running around with the dog.
I have heard stories of arguments at the fathers house, the most recent being a story of slammed doors and the partner telling the father to call me to pivk my son up. Not sure on timing or even substance but seems somewhat relevant.
My partner and I have started being a bit more strict if late due to a backslide in following simple rules. (Brushing teeth, wiping butt properly, even just putting toys away, all of these used to be routine with small reminders but now its a huge effort and i have to remove tv until jobs are done)
Honestly, I've had depression and the look in his eyes terrified me. The fears pouring out of his tiny mouth broke my heart. We sat for a good 20 minutes hugging and me reassuring him that he is loved and definitely worthy of anything. That I am proud of him, and miss him when he's at dad's and that dad misses him when he's with me.
I don't know what else to do. I never had this with my girl. Even now its angry mood swings to "no one understands me" which i can deal with a hell of a lot easier than "I'm worthless"
3 Replies
I know how you feel, my 9y/o says the same thing, I thought it was just a phase, until he started telling me he didn't want to live anymore. Seek some out side help, school guidance councillor, the school Chaplin are great places to start, something is bothering him and to talk so someone who's not a parent maybe be helpful to him.
I have a five year old with similar behaviours and emotions. I went to the dr, i was worried he would brush me off tell me its normal and my childs doing well or tell me to wait etc etc but he said she is suffering parents know best, i can refer you to a child psychologist.
Im feeling good that its the right thing, even if its for me to gain more understanding and techniques and hopefully we can get her mental healthy again. We know when theyre carrying more than they should be, and our kids deserve that help.
Hey I have a 7 year old son with similar behavior and is also very bright. He says things just like that too. Also says "everyone hates me", gets very angry and doesn't cope with consequences for his bad behavior. He often says "you will pay for this" when sent to his room for doing something naughty or tries to give ultimatums to get out of being disciplined.
Tonight he is missing out on movie night after he grabbed his little brother and threw him to the floor today. He has told me he will just refuse to go to sleep and that i just hate him and he just won't listen to me anymore if he doesn't get his movie. I don't give in...
Also similar background to your son, except my son's father is unstable and keeps disappearing for long periods of time.
I have a husband too who my son has had as a step dad since he was a little toddler and he is a wonderful step father. We have a stable happy home. But a very unhappy little boy. Seeing your doctor is a good start. Our doctor gave me a mental health plan for my son and I'm trying to find a child psychologist for him. The one I got a referal to isn't taking on anymore clients :(. Im booked into the doctor next week to get a referal for someone else. I have also got him seeing the school social worker as often as possible.
I've been going through the process of getting a parenting plan to try and bring some stability in to his life when it comes to his dad. My husband and I went to a workshop about co-parenting and focusing on whats best for the children when parents are no longer together. They talked about not making a big deal and talking to your children about how much you missed them and not getting emotional on drop offs because it makes kids worry about how their other parent is coping while they are with their mum or dad. I never really thought about it until they talked about it and I've always in the past talked to my son about how much i missed him, not realising it could make him worry.
I just wanted to let you know your not alone and its really tough!! You just want whats best for your littlies, and their happiness is so important. Seeing them miserable is devastating. Stay strong queenie, i hope you find some help for your little boy and you get to see him smiling again soon. xxx