How do I go about telling my parents while there advice about how I should parent my child is respected and valued it's not the way I want to do it. I am currently feeding my bub on demand and I suppose my parenting is based on the circle of security parenting methods. My baby knows that I am attentive to her needs and I will respond when she needs me. I have observed her a lot in these first few months to work out what her needs are and what her cries tell me. I believe we have a stronger connection and as a result I have a calm baby who rarely cries. However my parents, dad in particular thinks I should feed her like this and I should put her to sleep in where there is noise and stimulation not quietly in her cot with dim lighting. But this is working for me and I don't know how to tell them nicely to but out.
6 Replies
I used to say things like "it's amazing how the advice changes over the years, you would have done x,y,z, but now we're taught to do it this way for xyz reasons. See how calm she is"
Acknowledge their experience, but stand firm with your choices
And well done mama, wish every new parent knew about the circle of security
Just tell him your baby your way. That's all you need to say.
Just nod and say "ok" and go back to doing what you usually do.
Just say - thanks for your opinion, and then continue to do it your way. Because in the end, it is their opinion, nothing else.
I'm currently in a similar situation with my mum, she is very "stuck" on old ways. She is forever telling my son if he doesn't do what he is told to do she'll smack him (she says all this with the spoon in her hand). I've told her time and time again she isn't allowed to smack him yet she keeps up the threats (I've never seen or heard her smack my son and he has never said she has actually done it). make it clear what you want, repeat it time and time again, my son is 9 and I've been repeating myself for the past 2 years. . .
I had this from my sister on many topics. Problem is she has never been a parent and she acts like she knows everything. I told her enough is enough and told her I have had enough. You just gotta keep explaining it to them. Being nice about it doesn't work