Should I keep the baby? Despite using birth control I've taken a test today and the two strips appeared. I have 3 children ages 16, 10 and 9, and always thought we were done with the babies thing. I have a nice new job which I'm happy with, and for the first time in a long time we are financially secure and happy. I feel really sad and cranky about aborting the baby but I'm frightened that this is a big step back for us and I may be being selfish, is this the right thing for our existing children keeping this child?? I also had savage post natal depression with all of these pregnancies, but at the moment am in a much better place than I've ever been
Baby number four?
Baby number four?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Pregnancy, Kids
11 Replies
Your kids are at a pretty independent age and you don't sound like psychologically you would cope with an abortion anyway. I'd have the baby.
I am definitely pro abortion in the right circumstances for the right people. Something about you tells me you aren't the right people.
Please think about it alot. I was in a similar position, And aborted and regret it everyday.
Yep, I'm going to be the third one to say that abortion in no way is going to be the easy way out emotionally. It may not be PND you're dealing with but trust me, I dealt with the emotional affects of abortion for 2 years and it was in no way pretty. Think long and hard and make sure you have proper support in place no matter which way you choose to go. Good luck!
You can keep your job. Yes life will get sleepless for a while but having a baby without pnd can be a wonderful, even easy thing.
Equally an abortion doesnt have to be a traumatic event. Its not nice to go through, but if its right and you know it, like i did i got back to life and carried on. It was right and ive always been fine about it.
I think you have an answer already in your heart, in a day or so it will be sitting stronger in your mind. Whichever that feeling is, trust it and follow it.
I was where you are right now 2 ish years ago. Found myself pregnant with #4 and completely not ready for it or even wanting it. I struggled and struggled for a long time to accept that I was pregnant again and I sort help through the prenatal mental health system through the hospital and spoke to a counsellor regularly which was a huge help. I couldn't abort a perfectly healthy baby but was always wishing that something would go wrong or that something was wrong with Bub so I would have an excuse to abort.
Fast forward to now and I wouldn't change my choice to have my baby girl for the world. I struggled a little afterwards as I felt so guilty for even thinking about aborting her. She is the piece that had been missing from our family and we didn't even know it. But now she totally completes us. We had to upgrade our car and I had to postpone going back to work but now I have a great job and wouldn't be happier. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I personally could never abort a baby but it seems to me by your post that you actually DO want to and are just looking for people to agree with you to ease your guilt.
So I'm here to tell you, if you're happy with 3 children and don't want another child and think you will not cope, then have an abortion. It probably will affect you but if it's what you want out of your life to not have any more children then do it asap and work through the mental pain in therapy. Eventually you'll be happy to have your life and get past it.
I had an abortion about 12 years ago and regret it every single day! If I could go back I would of no way done that! I believe there is a time and a place for them and I'm not anti abortion but it is incredibly hard! When it comes up to my would of been due date I cry myself to sleep every year! It's genuinely horrible!
I understand completely. I went through the same. I had a friend who went through it and made it sound so easy. It wasn't. I honestly cringe when people say they got over it coz I wish I could. I wish someone had told me not to do it.
We were in a good position early last year where we were almost reaching the our big dream house goals....then two lines appeared. I completely freaked out, we needed to start from scratch with all the baby things and needed a bigger car, I had to go on maternity leave, so our goals got put on hold for a little bit.
Our baby boy is almost 1 now and I would not have changed anything! I'm still on maternity leave and we haven't built our dream home yet but we have this precious baby who his big brothers adore and brings so much joy to our lives. I wouldn't choose a perfect house over our baby ever. It would feel empty without him.
I terminated my fourth pregnancy. It was a very straightforward procedure and I've never regretted my decision. Four children would be too much for me. I think you know if you want another baby and I certainly didn't. Good luck with your choices :)
I was recently in a postion like this. I had found my self pregnant with my 5th baby when my 4th was 3 months old. It was really hard trying to make the decision as i thought i was done after my 4th. My husband supported me with what ever decision i wanted to make. I also suffered depression and ended up on anti depressants. I decided to keep the baby as i couldnt abort it. After i got use to the fact i was going to have 5 kids the youngest 2 being 12 months apart i started thinking about life with our new baby. Sadly last week when i went for my 12w scan there was no heartbeat and i had to have a medical missacrriage. Now all i can think about is wanting another baby. I think the age of your children now they can help out alot with the baby and themselves. Also you could always just take maternity leave from your job and then use childcare for the baby. I think you could make it work. But really its only a decision you can make.