Hi The father of my children and I of 8 years have decided for the final time to seperate. While I agree I am struggling, I'm scared and I would love to hear some happy endings to separations, I am 36 and I'm kind of thinking I've missed the boat in so many things because of the length of our unhappy relationship. Did u go in to have happy lives, dos u get married? Have more children? Did the separation affect the children long term? Am I too old now? Feeling lost :( how long did it take to feel normal again ?
I hope this makes sense
4 Replies
Totally!!
Seriously you can have an incredibly happy life wether you repartner or not. Myself I've chosen to stay single. Because I've realised I LOVE being single. It's not the big scary thing that people portray it to be. I'm in charge of my life, I rule my life. If I want to do something I can do it.
Some of my friends have re partnered and had more kids, others have really enjoyed dating but not settled for anyone.
It's up to you what you want! How much it effects your kids depends on you and your ex. If you both do the right thing and don't bad mouth the other parent (or new partner) and don't stop the other parent being happy in there new lives (wether re partnered or not) your children will have very happy lives. Kids would rather live in two happy homes than one where the parents make each other miserable!
I was 34 when I left my husband. It was easy for me and I felt like a massive weight was lifted. Different circumstances though.
I didn't even go on a single date for 12 months. My ex husband was my first sexual partner and for a time I didn't think I'd ever be able to have sex with another person ever again. A friend of mine went without sex for ten years after she separated from her hubby. She said to me 'don't do what I did. I deeply regret it'
So I decided to get out there and have a go.
First date. The guy was very sweet. Made me dinner and we watched a movie. I had a lovely night... I never saw him again as I decided I wanted to have a bit of fun.
Next date was a guy I was intending to have as just a friend. It didn't work out that way though as we fell for each other. It was an intense and fiery relationship which only lasted three months.
I had a few flings in between. Really had some fun.
Next guy. We moved in together but only lasted 10 months.
Now I'm in a relationship with a guy who I think is perfect for me. We've been together almost 6 years. Bought a house together and getting married next year.
I'm ecstatically happy ?
It will take time. Take it.
Too often I've seen people rush into things (I've done it too) before they're ready and it just causes pain and confusion.
You will get there.
Yes there is happiness in seperation. I have not repartnered, have no interest in it and I am very happy!!
My mum and dad separated when they were in their late 40's and mum admits she only stayed for us (he's an alcoholic)
That devastated me hearing that she endured years of an unhappy relationship.
She then met a man that is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING
he is so kind to her, makes her coffee in bed every morning (they still both work) and is everything she deserves to ha en in a partner.
While she put up with he'll for years, I feel like it's because of that that she finally found true happiness.
I love him as if I have two father's and so does my sister