The heart remembers

This is a long one... And not a question.

Every now and then someone writes in asking people on here to be kinder to each other.
Honestly I'm not always using 'kind' words when I comment. IM is a support network. Sometimes you have to say what you think they NEED to hear rather than what they WANT to hear. However, sometimes people are just downright nasty. It's an issue in this world of non face to face interaction. Even if it's not anonymous (Facebook) it's still not face to face so your words don't seem as cruel.

I'm a primary school teacher and every year at the beginning of the year, whatever grade I teach, I do this activity to teach them how words can hurt.
I get them to create a self portrait. I tell them to really make it marvelous because it's going to be hung up in our classroom all year. I get out the special crayons, glitter etc. I want them to be proud of their work.
I collect everyone's work and then hand them out randomly to their peers. No one is allowed to get theirs back.
I then tell them to scrunch it up into a ball. Really squish it! But don't rip it.
This is when I start watching...
The reactions tell you A LOT about that particular kid. The kids that are hesitant and don't want to do it, the kids that frantically look for who has their work to see what happens to it, the kids that are more than happy to ruin someone else's work, the kids that rip it even when they're told not too.
I then tell them to smooth it back out again. Rub it out flat and smooth it out to get it back to how it was. Of course they can't because there are 'crinkles.' The kids that have ripped it have to use sticky tape etc.
We then have a discussion.
Scrunching up the portraits represents using nasty words, put downs, bullying etc. Ripping the portraits represents physical harm such as hitting and kicking.
When we attempt to smooth the portraits back to normal that represents making amends. Apologizing. Giving compliments. Kindness.
However, we can never get it back to how it was before we scrunched it up. We can never get a persons heart back to how it was before we said the nasty words or physically hurt them because our heart remembers. The damage is already done.
We talk about the importance of apologizing and making amends. Even if it doesn't 'smooth' back to 'normal' at least it helps.
I'll now know which kids seem to display empathy and which ones don't... Which ones to keep an eye on and promote kindness.
Throughout the year if I hear a put down I'll point to the portraits and say 'the heart remembers' or 'your words have power' etc.
At this time of the year the kids are doing it themselves. There are no put downs in my class. There is no bullying. There is no nastiness. It's nice.
With older grades (grade 3+) I also go into the conscience. If we do something to someone we know is wrong and don't make amends then we are adding this memory to our own hearts. We're adding 'crinkles.'

Try this with your kids. It's also a good reminder for us adults too ❤️