Hi sisters/brothers,
Has anyone separated from partner, then the ex wanted another child with you? What was the outcome for the dynamic of the relationship with ex? Did you get back together or was it the wrong thing to do to bring another person into the world?
Little bit of background,
Have 3 children (6 yo and twins 4yo), married for 5, known each other for 8 years prior.
Fighting and arguements since we had twins 4 years ago. I moved out 1 1/2 years ago with children.
He asked why I left, my response, no support from him when I needed it. Since moving out he does help a little bit more, BUT still blames me for his shortcomings. Such as having children, moving closer to his family, me not being able to find a job for the hours my twins are at dc, etc.
There are other reasons why I moved out, but I'm not wanting to say as people might know who I am.
For about a couple of months now he's been asking, almost pleading with me to have another. His reasons are I won't have to look for work for another 6 years after bub is born, I'll receive more money from government.
But nothing about how OUR relationship would improve!
I know I shouldn't, but why am I feeling like "maybe?"? Am I being manipulated into "wanting" another child?
Please help!
11 Replies
No way in hell would I have another baby with a man I left for whatever reason.
Sounds like he is trying to trap you
Sounds like manipulation to me
Are you serious?
The reason he wants another is so you don't have to work and can claim benefits for another 6 years?
What's the benefit for him? Why are you even considering it?
Thebenefit to him is being able to keep her in that position, still linked to him, relying on him, he can keep her there and keep telling her shes useless lazy shit etc.
Shes probably getting on her feet and moving on from him and he needs to stop it
Sounds like he has some idea about what he could do, what it would do, or that it would be his second chance. Sounds immature to me not something id get into.
Thanks sisters, I thought as much, just needed that extra 7Th sense!
High fives babe for not falling for his crap!
Umm no! Definitely sounds like manipulation ! What a strange request ! My suggestion would be if you wanted to have another baby WAIT until you meet someone that is fully committed to you and your family and you want to do life with .... Adding another baby in what sounds like a messy situation to begin with is only asking for trouble .
Mate, hes trying to trap you into having a thing with him. No way, don't do it!
Worst idea ever!
Get a job and stop making a career out of sponging off the government by pumping out more babies. What are you going to do when this baby turns 6? Have another 'welfare baby'?!?
Judgmental much??? If you can read, she said this is his reasoning while hes trying to sell this idea to her.