Hi there,my son has been out of home for 2 weeks now,his father did ask him to leave as he is so disrespectful rude and his temper is unbearable on the family,he has admitted to smoking weed as well,he refuses to come home at a reasonable hour all week,he is just defiant in every way...he sleeps with his girlfriend when we are not home, he even leaves the condoms full under his bed which we have recently found (gross) his is now staying at the girlfriends place he is 17 and just has no obedience what's so ever....we have tried the nice way tried lots of love...tried to be tough we have tried everything...he has been through alot of friends and schools and jobs...i have tried to get him into counselling he will not go...a few years ago he went to headspace for over a year with no success...in the last few months I think I have just given up and been so angry with him....i now just miss him so much...but do my husband and I stay strong untill he changes his ways??? The family including his sister have been way less stressed with him out of home and it does work so much better...but I miss him
..I have tried to be in contact but he refuses to get back to me...in his last text to me when he left he refused to call me mum just used my name...please don't judge me in nastiness I am distraught enough as it is...i just need some advice .I just can't can't take the hatred the disobedience and his selfishness...but he is my son
Confused
Confused
Posted in:
Behaviour
5 Replies
My younger sister sounds exactly like your son. Growing up she had no respect for my parents, was rude, smoked, slept with boys in the house. My father wanted her out of the house, my mum however, couldn't do it. She always gave in and babied my sister. Because of this, my sister is now 28, still at home, still disrespectful, still in and out of trouble, doesn't work and doesn't drive. You and your husband have done the right thing. He will come to his senses. This is the only way he will learn. Be strong!
It's time for him not to be in your home. Bringing him home will do nothing at all.
It sounds like he wants to be an adult... time to let him go and find out all about the joys of growing up. Stay strong, I think you have taken the only option available to you.
I moved out of home at 17, not because o was kicked out but because I just couldn't stand living in that environment anymore. My mum and dad fought so much, I was expected to do everything it was ridiculous. I already knew how to budget and all that. Let your son be, you may miss him but he needs space. He may change his ways and he may not. He is old enough to make his own decisions now though.
I feel for you. We to had a similar situation with our then 18yr old son. He was asked to leave by his dad for almost the same reasons. It was one of the hardest things we have ever done. All I can suggest to you is keep in contact every few days (even if it's via text) Tell him how much you love him. Ask him if he is ok, needs clothes, food etc ( but not money). Everyone needs to have time to calm down. Give it a few weeks then see if he would like to come
over for dinner/lunch. Let him bring his GF. Keep the conversation light.
We did this for 8 months with our son. We are now 2 years down the track and he is a totally different person.
Keep trying, have patience. Eventually you will see light at the end of the tunnel.