My husband and I have been fighting a lot for the past probably 2-3 years. When things are good they are great and I couldn't imagine leaving. But when they are bad, they are horrible. He isn't physically violent towards me but I think he is verbally. He also has in my opinion anger management issues and punches and breaks things when he gets angry. (He was having trouble fixing a hole in the cupboard and punched a light, fighting with me and punched and broke a wardrobe, punched through walls, etc) I have asked him to seek help/councelling and he won't. When we fight about something he has done wrong, he turns it back on me. (Lying and hiding things from me too many times to count). I know he's unhappy and I'm unhappy but we have had very stressful few years- I have a severe chronic illness and am hospitalised a few times a year as well as having a major operation in this time period, have bought a house, gotten married, had a child (quite a difficult pregnancy which has resulted with my child being disabled), as well as me being a full time student. My question is do I stick it out in the hope that this is just a rough patch because of all the stress or do I leave and start a life without him? (Considering how difficult that will be with my health and my child's disability.)
3 Replies
It's time to leave, he IS abusive. It won't get better it will most likely get worse.
Start gathering your resources, and making a plan to leave safely.
They don't change. My ex was verbally abusive to me. He use to yell, throw things, punch things and be manipulative and controlling. You need to find a way to leave safety.
The red flag in this other than the abuse and anger issue is that he just flat out "won't" get help. That there is your answer honey. If you stay you accept that this is your life. It won't change because he won't get help. It will be hard I won't lie but you deserve better and while you are being treated like this you are not open to someone who will treat you the way you deserve. You said yourself it's already been happening for years. Time to live a life that you can enjoy and get beck the you that you were. Abuse chages you and you need to take the time to put yourself first for once. Good luck!