Hi my daughter is in Prep and she has started to "dob" on other kids. I can only imagine that it causes conflict with the other kids. I'm hoping she will grow out of it and she's not the only one :-( it frustrates me to no end that even after telling her it's not nice she doesn't stop.
5 Replies
Being honest is not bad. Maybe she's concerned about what others did or she's sticking up for someone else or herself when she dobs. Instead of telling her not to at all teach her when its ok and when to mind her own business. Maybe telling actually causes the other kids to be more honest as well. It teaches them that others aren't going to hide things. I mean at least she wouldn't stand by and watch others get hurt. Dobbing to the other kids means pretty much anything they did even if it was bad and needed to be reported so you would need to be sure you know the exact things she's dobbing
I think we need to stop discouraging dobbing. When we tell our kids to stop dobbing we are also telling them to not tell us when someone bullies them, or molests them, and teaching them to stay silent when they see criminal behaviour etc.
teach her the importance of speaking up and what to speak up about.
If someone is hurting her or someone else she absolutely needs to dob.
Teach her about rules that people need to self monitor and regulate, and that only adults need to remind children about those rules.
Yeah some kids do it. Try explaining the difference. telling is to help the person. If you need help or are hurt then tell the teacher they will help. If telling is to get someone in trouble its dobbing and not nice and the teacher wont like it. So ask herself is it helpful to tell or trying to get them in trouble?
As they get older, by about grade 2, they lose their straightforward innocence and stop doing it. They get friends and they start trying to fit in, don't stop her, enjoy it whilst she is little. Can you imagine her at high school in year ten doing it? Hell no and that's when we wish they would! ?
Dibber dobbers ruin it for the fun kids imho ! There were so many little girls in my daughters class she was too scared to do or say anything coz she didn't want to get " dobbed on to the teacher " even for silly things like climbing trees, drinking straight from the tap and not the bubblers , not hanging her bag in the right spot , telling someone to go away , drawing on her book covers , playing with the boys ........ the list of pathetic things goes on !!! We ended up leaving that school ( private ) coz I didn't want her to have to put up with those mean girls the whole of primary school !