Hi imperfect mums,
When I was young I stupidly made the mistake of seeing two guys in close proximity and I fell pregnant, I wasn't sure on who the father is.
One wanted nothing to do with him refused DNA testing and the other has no idea( I worked with him he knew I was pregnant but didn't think there was much chance of being his it was a one night stand), the more I look at my son the more I know his father is the latter. Any suggestions as what I should do? My son is a teen and I have carried this around for many years feeling guilty and I decided to raise my child alone from the start but I think he has the right to know?
Should I tell him or let it be?
Should I tell him or let it be?
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
6 Replies
So to clarify.
You think the father of your child is the latter as in the one who has no idea there is the possibility of two fathers?
If that's the case can you possibly do a DNA test without his knowledge? That way you confirm your theory and no one is hurt.
He knew, I was seeing someone else before him and knew I was pregnant but not that it could have been his. I originally thought my ex was his dad as I only spent one night with the latter male (that my son looks so much like). My first boyfriend wanted nothing to do with him though and refused dna and moved away.
He must have known there was a chance though. It only takes once. I'm surprised he hasn't asked for a DNA test already.
I'd sort that out before telling your son. Make certain.
He has knowledge as I worked with him when pregnant
You definitely need to talk to the potential dad and sort out a DNA test. Don't tell your son until you have DNA confirmed. There are ways to get your sons DNA sample without him knowing.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say what's the point? Unless your son has issues wondering about his father and you think it's affecting him. If he is well adjusted and happy then I really don't see how it would benefit him (right now). Honestly, there are kids who are adopted that never ever want to know who their real parents are. Your son could be quite happy with you as his mum and dad! (I don't know the circumstances).
So if you only want to do it to ease your guilt then I have to say no, that's quite selfish. If he's happy now then his life changing and having to have a relationship with a father he doesn't know could actually do damage.
But this is just my opinion though obviously and I'm sure you already want what's best for your son