Hello im's,
(this is going to be long there's just a lot to talk about) I wrote in some time ago about taking in my sister as my mum was incapable of caring for her. After your helpful guidance I did that and everything has gone relatively well and we aren't in contact with our mother anymore (her choice) anyway since then I have found out my sister has been in a complicated relationship with another girl, I don't have an issue with this but every day it has been like a ticking bomb. They had a blow out, broke up and have just started patching thing's up. My sister has a social and learning disability and this girl has adhd they go to school together and talk on the phone all night, the girl I'll just call Anna, Anna has messaged me upset talking about the teachers not listening to her so she gets angry and my sister in turn gets angry punches things and hates the teachers from then on and Anna tells me about her family abusing her physically and emotionally sometimes I don't get around to replying and she seems to lash out I don't know if it's a coincidence but my silence seems to have a domino affect. Last week she was sent to the hospital after threatening suicide at school then a few days later I didn't have time to reply to her and my sister texted me while they were at school saying "Anna said if she dies she wants me to tell you she loves you" my sister also brought home pictures Anna drew of death, guns and letters about death that day.
Them being together scares me, it honestly does. My sister is easily influenced probably more so than most people and she constantly acts on ever requests this girl gives her, Anna will tell her to tell me things and as soon as something happens at school or at Anna's home my sister expects me to step in and at times has asked me to go get this girl from her home, I've explained it's kidnapping and I can't accuse her parents of abuse without any proof. After some investigating I found they both self harm and follow fb famous people that glorify self harming to a certain extent I've plowed through search histories and found some unsavoury things my sister has searched, she listens to sad songs on YouTube most of the time and I've kept a look out for dangerous objects (advice from her therapists) they know about the self harming and our mother situation but her teachers honestly have no idea how deep this goes, I have no idea what to do because my sister doesn't listen to me, her friends seem to only be waiting on a que to talk about themselves and it's like every one she surrounds herself with is having a personal crisis and they're all trying to one up each other from saying small things like 'I don't want to talk to anyone' (my sister see's that as a cry for help) to people literally faking their own suicide over the phone (I have witnessed this myself) I feel compelled to go to her school and do a public speech because it's that out of control I'm only 22 this isn't my first rodeo but I'm way out of my depth here, my sister is 17 and I'm worried about what will happen come next year when she is out of school.
Any advice will be welcome and embraced x
2 Replies
Get your sister in to see a psychologist, or ask to see a psychologist yourself. The psychologist can give you excellent advise on how to handle this.
I remember your post. You're very brave taking on your sister. I applaud your decision.
As for the issues you've written wow! What a shit situation.
I don't know where you are but has your sister been to Headspace? They will assess and recommend where to go from there. They have social workers etc but if the issue is more severe they will refer to another agency such as child and young persons mental health. Talking to someone is a cry for help but so is self harming. How can she not see the difference? She has seen a therapist though? Is she still seeing them.
The relationship she has with her friend is toxic but it could be very damaging to stop them from seeng each other.
All I can say is get get to see someone. It's serious stuff that needs to be addressed. I went through a horrible time earlier this year with my 16 yr old son. I was concerned enough to take him to our local hospital to the emergency and he was assessed by a mental health team that night. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. He's on medication now. It took a few months but things have definitely improved. The people at Headspace were amazing! They did school and home visits so his life was allowed to go as normal as possible.
The only advice I can give is to get her to see someone. Contact them and ask their advice. Headspace won't offer help if the 'patient' doesn't want it so you'll have to get your sister on board for that. Failing that I'm not sure what other networks are out there.
Contact the school and tell them what's going on. At the very least the school councilor can speak to her.