Hi Mums,
I'm wanting to know how other single parents cope financially.
I've recently left a domestic violence situation with my 2 children and am feeling very overwhelmed with everything. I'm trying to cut costs wherever possible, but now I have big medical expenses ($900 upfront) for the children coming up next week and I'm unsure how I'm going to be able to survive the next fortnight after paying for these appointments. They are very much needed appointments so I can't reschedule until I have saved up some money. I'm losing sleep over worrying about feeding my children and paying bills. I was left with debt and I walked out with just our clothes so have had to start from scratch. I don't smoke or drink, I don't go out for coffee etc, I've started sleeping on the couch near the fire so I don't use the little heater and electric blanket in my room. I don't know where else I can cut things out to make my money last a little longer. I meal plan every single meal and only shop for what we need but by the time I pay for the debts I've been left with, food, rent, utilities and petrol I have barely anything left. Days like today make me want to go back to him because I would be better able to provide for my children financially. I can't take this stress any longer. I feel like all I do is cry, I cry when the children don't listen or spill a cup of water, the other night I was trying to cook and didn't have a pair of tongs or potato masher and I broke down crying, I feel like I can't provide for my children. I'm just I'm at breaking point and I'm so scared that all of this is now left up to me. I no longer get told what I can and can't do and I'm unsure how to handle it. I am having therapy but haven't been for a few weeks as I simply cannot afford it at the moment. Please don't judge me for wanting to go home, I don't want to, I know the damage its doing to my children but I don't know what else to do.
6 Replies
Can you get a Centrelink advance? Or look into a NILs (no interest loan) google NILs and your state.
Also contact everyone you normally pay anything to except rent and ask to put payments on hold, or delay payments. If you tell them upfront they will appreciate that.
Go and see the Salvos. They can help you in so many ways. They will help you negotiate with your creditors, get a budget together with you that is manageable, give you basic home wares (like the tongs, blankets, etc), they have food hampers, and lots of understanding. All this is new and overwhelming for you - but they have seen it before and have so many answers. You can do this. It's ok to cry, but work on smiling too - remember how good it feels to be free :) Good luck. x
Do not go back to your husband. No matter how bad it may seem, he will only make it worse. There are many charities that can help you. Salvos, women's shelters, domestic violence organisations and church groups. It is ok to ask for a hand out. That is why they are there and helping people in your situation is exactly why people donate. You will get through this and your family will be ok xxx
Hey hun,
No matter what, do not go back...
Come what may. The tough and the easy!!
I am going through the exact same thing :'( and it hurts. Yes it does. And it is challenging! Boy I know the feeling hun.... This is just one of many more obstacles/challenges yet to come in your life as it is for mine.
Best thing: charities are there. Salvos, Lifeline, Women shelters (I am in one right now....) we all need a helping hand in this time. And there are Heaps of support networks out there that will help too. Food, clothing, utensils and all necessities we need for life!
The Salvos are really good with helping to budget and helping with talking to debtors and utility companies.
It's all about little steps hun. You need to stay strong.
My mum just recently told me this and please take these words with you :') "What happens throughout your life happens. Good things and bad. Yin and yang... It's about the little steps that one day you'll look back on and see it was an incredibly big step! And how you deal with all this, will truely show you how strong you are my girl!!! You don't know your real strength until you need to use it... And you'll see the rainbow after the rain".
Look into charities for help. Seek legal aid for child support. Seek into some free child care (Yes, you can get this if your escaping DV and take some time for yourself!) Call your utility companies and seek for financial assistance and hardship (Electricity companies have a government based hardship hand out where they can pay up to $700 off your bill depending where you are, I'm in QLD) and stay positive! Stay strong! And hey, your not the only one..... I'm in a shelter with 8 other mums and their children :'( a woman comes in every day and someone leaves every second day once they find their feet and their own home. Your not the only one hunni!!! Keep your chin up and look at your beautiful children and know what's best for them = And give it to them :') little steps! God bless you xxxxxxxx
I'm not sure what the medical bills coming up are but can you call them and ask for a payment plan ? Some will allow that ! Also will u get anything back from Medicare ?
I'm not sure how long you've been out but did you access the crisis payment from centerlink ? Or are you eligible for any payments ? Sometimes they can give you an advance ? And you can pay it back slowly ? It might be worth talking to them
As the others have said the salvos are awesome for lots of different things ! If you talk to them about missing lots of household stuff they can help you access that too through their opshops ! It might be second hand but at least it will help get you through to when u can buy your own new ones !