Are we supposed to enjoy this? Being a stay at home mum? The most frustrating and thankless job I can think of?
I see all these women with tidy homes and social lives and smiles... how? How does that happen? Cos I want that so, so bad.... but instead I have a house that looks like a tip despite me spending my days washing and cleaning, I can't remember the last time I did anything alone, let alone with MY friends, and smile?(and actually mean it)..that's far too long ago.
I don't have family to rely on... my husband works constantly to keep us afloat so most of the time I feel like a single parent. I have 2 young kids (one of whom has special needs and is very demanding) and because of his needs I can't leave him with friends etc.
I love my kids... very much. We constantly play and draw and go to the park etc... but I just don't know how to enjoy any of it.
Stay at home mum.
Stay at home mum.
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
3 Replies
Honestly I don't think that being a stay at home mum is right for everyone. For me it definitely wasn't right and working was definitely beneficial to my mental health even if it my wage covered daycare only. I was a better mum. I was more effective when I was at home and I began to enjoy being at home.
Stay at home mum isn't all it's made out to be for a lot of people.
No its not for me either. However i did eventually find out you need to make it so you enjoy it. Do things you enjoy and let yhe the kids join you. All that kids stuff isnt for me either but when i started painting and listening to music and going to the rainforest and beach and making a small garden i started to enjoy it. I found a gym with creche for my class . I could also put them in creche and swim or put baby in and take the older ones swimming. I found a friendly zumba class i could take my kids to. Their dad looked after them so i could go, or go running. I signed us up for fun runs. I figured out what i love and made it part of our lives.
I made time for me, and each of the kids.
We got a puppy and trained it while i was home.
Then my baby grew up and i got a job and went back to work and really enjoy things the way they are now.
I also find the more balance you have the less it feels like 24/7 doing things for others and being needed. You need to go out and find whas going to make that work for you.
It could be worth talking to your GP or to a counsellor about how your feeling. It helped me.( I'm not saying you are depressed.) My counsellor diagnosed me with depression. I resisted that diagnosis for a long time and resisted taking medication. However since taking antidepressants and speaking to a counsellor I got the strength to find a job and be out of the house.