I am 24 years old and I have two beautiful children, 7 and 5 years old. I met my current partner four months ago, we found out we became pregnant a little more than two months in. Yes we were careful and did everything to prevent this, somehow this little fighter made it through to the goal line. Anyway, after much discussion we decided to team up and do this together. He lives an hour away and he normally spends every Thursday, Saturday and Sunday night at my house and is meant to be moving in after September. Everything was going great, until recently when my raging hormones made me a little hard to handle... I guess we were bickering over silly little things and just not meeting eye to eye. I know I was the integrator and have been pretty emotional for no real reason. We both are a little hard headed and both like to be right but since falling pregnant I've been worse... The problem is, we saw each other last Thursday and got into another stupid fight over something that shouldn't have been a topic. He left for work friday morning and I thought everything was okay. I realised by that night he wasn't acting normal and was hardly texting me or it was very small replies. I left it alone and went to bed thinking he was coming up the next day and we could talk then. On Saturday he told me he wasn't coming up and he was busy and would talk later. I asked him what was wrong and he just repeated it again. Fast forward 24 hours and I still hadn't heard from him even though I had tried messaging him that night. nothing... He again told me he might come up and he would let me know later. It got to 7.30pm Sunday and I ended up getting really frustrated and telling him he needs to stop being a jerk and tell me whats going on. He told me that he doesn't think we are right for each other, that we are fighting all the time, that he doesn't think he can do this and he is sorry.
I tried to talk to him about it but he just said he wants space and to leave him alone. I asked him if this meant we were over and he said that he doesn't know, he just needs to be left alone. His messages were really frustrated with me and I could tell he was furious I was trying to talk to him about this. so I stopped trying after that until the next morning, I sent him a message apologising for taking my hormones out on him, for challenging him on everything he said and for forgetting to think about how he was feeling and only thinking of myself. Basically I apologised for being a raging hormonal crazy lady and taking it out on him. I promised to make sure I didn't continue to be like this and I told him I loved him and that I was here when he wanted to talk and that if he is having fears about the baby, not to worry because he is going to be an amazing father (he is great with my kids, they adore him and he adores them). That was yesterday morning and I still haven't heard anything from him... Im so stressed out and I'm terrified that he isn't coming back. Has anyone been in this situation before? or has any advice on what I can do?
pregnant and scared my partner is leaving...
pregnant and scared my partner is leaving...
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy

2 Replies
He is going to do what he is going to do.
Going by your story sending him texts, and begging him to come back will not help. They will just be further evidence that your emotions are out of control.
Give him some space. Give yourself some space. Stop contacting him, except for about what's going on with the baby (Drs appointments etc). Let things cool down.
Maybe you aren't right for each other, maybe you are, but chasing won't work.
Spend some time thinking about how you'll manage on your own. Really, you can do it. Your other kids are 5 and 7 so you will be in a good place to do this on your own. Think about it, what's really so terrible about him not coming back? You don't need him. You will be fine on your own. Women do this everyday.
Two months in you need to commit to doing this yourself.
I went the route of lets do this and it was the worst. Youre blaming yourself and desperate for him already and it just leads to a really bad balance and eventually an unhealthy relationship and self.
Youre two months in you hardly know each other its not going to change because you decided to try. The fact is still the fact. It will still be a few years before you know each other and know if you decide to commit. And this baby wont make that happen it will make trying to build a relationship together harder.
Take a step back. Take the intensity and expectation off him and focus on your self and your health.