Hi sisters.
I need some help. Long story short out of frustration and hurt I've hit my daughter (1 year old) a few times (mainly while trying to nurse her to sleep she has bit me and out of hurt I've hit her on the thigh).
My question is, now sometimes when I say no or something similar if she's on me she'll try hit me or if she's waddling around she'll come up to me and try and hit me. when she's angry and unhappy she'll start hitting and has even tried hitting others who have tried to show her love. I've tried holding her hand while trying to hit me or others and saying no! And explaining to her that it's not right, but I'm devastated that she's learnt that and I know she's learnt that off me. There's no excuse and I know it's wrong but I'm just heartbroken and now trying to fix the mistake I made. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How have you dealt with it? Has anyone got any tips?
Thanks in advance xxx
4 Replies
I don't think she has learnt it from you at all, you're being hard on yourself. She's a little kid and kids go through a hitting phase no doubt. I think what you are doing now is good parenting, keep telling her no and she will learn.
She probably senses youre afraid to discipline her like that now and is taking advantage (like any small child would).
Keep doing what you're doing she will be fine :)
Relax, you haven't done any irreparable damage! Do you remember what happened to you at 1? Just keep doing as you are doing, pull her up every time, don't smack her anymore (if you are against it as a way of discipline, some people agree with smacking) and it will be fine. Wait until she talks, that's a real eye opener, I remember when my 2 year old said shit when he dropped something lol
I know kids who hit, and they've never been hit a single time in their life! So it wasn't a learned behaviour.
Kids go through stages of hitting. Just keep pulling her up on it. (But never smack her for hitting someone.)
Chin up. You're doing great.
(And there's nothing wrong with the odd little smack when warranted).
Please done be hard on yourself ! It's actually a normal developmental stage ! And some kids naturally do it more then others anyway . Did you notice that when you gave her a smack you didn't think you just acted ? It's an instinct that we actually have to unlearn or learn to control if that's a better way to say it . My 1st is such a gentle child and I never even needed to consider smacking (I remember the first time he heard me say 'do you want a smack ? To his sibling he thought I said SNACK and said yes please hehe ) anyway I learnt my lesson big time when me 2 came ! He's naturally more physical and rough !!! He is only 3 and laughs at me when trying to use gentle parenting and a few times I've smacked him and caught myself threatening to as well (though I don't follow through on threats as I realize I shouldn't do it after I say it :-/ ) my daughter is even worse she's only one and already pulls hair and hits me in the face :( and I haven't smacked her yet !!!
The best thing you can do is have a plan . Eg next time she bights when feeding plan to say a firm no remove her from your breast and sit her on the floor . Take a break from feeding . That's how I handled my son . With the hitting you what your doing is perfect . Firm no and hold her hands away from you . Also say that hurts mummy and makes me sad .
Discipline is HARD !!! We are never going to get it perfectly right . Go easy on yourself mumma your doing a great job