I have no control over my 3 year old son!!
I am honestly exhausted every single day i dont know what to do anymore all i want to do is cry all the time and be left alone because he just will not stop. All he does is hit me and kick me and throw things at me. I am 13 weeks pregnant with our second child and im scared because how am i supposed to handle a new born when i have a child that hounds me all day. Ive tried taking things off him, bribing him, tried to reason with him, smacking him, time out (it is impossible to keep him in his room, its a sliding door and he just pulls it off its hinges with his tantrums) everything is a complete meltdown with him. When he wants something and i say no it just wont do he will follow me around screaming at me and pulling at me and it doesn't end until i give in. I am terrified of taking him down town with me because he is so terrible im scared i will start crying in public. Also im tearing up inside because i know he can be such a good, happy little boy and it breaks my heart to see him so angry and unhappy every single day. He is just killing me at the moment no matter what i do or try to do to make him stop it just gets worse and worse. He is so destructive and full on once i had to bring him inside and he wouldn't have it he kicked and screamed and we had just bought a new tv a month before well he decided he would throw the Playstation remote and shattered the screen. We had to take it to the tip. He is completely obsessed with trucks everytime i pick him up from daycare he demands a truck or whenever i get back from the shop he is searching for a truck in the bags and if he hasnt got one its a meltdown. I cant get him to go to sleep before 9pm he wont sleep in his own bed and the only way to get him to lay down is if i stay with him until hes asleep. He will be 4 in march and is still not toilet trained. I have tried a potty, and two different type of seats for the toilet and even though he will sit fine on the toilet without any aid now and no problems he just refuses to. He will do it for 2 days than lose interest and i cannot get him to do it its just a catastrophe i cant even bribe him with chocolate because if i mention a lollie he will just scream and demand the lollie and completely disregard the toilet. And its starting to become a nightmare to change his bum he will run away from me and when i do catch him he kicks and screams and does everything he can to try and stop me from doing it. I feel like such a failure. His father is in the same boat as me we are both at our wits end we can only do so much to stay sane i find myself begging him for help at times because i just cant do it. But he doesnt know what to do either. Also he has some hearing loss in his left ear i go back for a follow up monday and i have made an appointment with my dr to get his behavior seen to because i keep getting told he has autism but ive chosen to ignore these remarks until now because im starting to think the same. Please help.
EXHAUSTED
EXHAUSTED
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt
3 Replies
Time to get that assessment for autism. It will open the door to so much help. Early intervention will make a massive difference in helping your sons behaviour.
Ask for referrals to a peadiatrician and a child psychologist.
I wouldn't just explore autism, but other mental/behavior issues as well.
Your son sounds similar to how my brother was, and he was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD.
My sons also been labelled 'high risk' for ADHD for displaying similar behavior (as they don't usually officially diagnose it until school age).
There is no shame at all in getting him assessed and putting your hand up to say HELP! It does sound like there is a lot more going on for your little guy then just normal development ! If someone has flagged possible autism then definitely seek professional help ! They will give u lots of information and techniques to help you communicate better with him
And him with you and bring some of those tantrums under control .
As for the toilet training don't stress too much . Does he go to day care ? Sometimes it takes seeing other kids do it to get them interested !! maybe a bit more time there would be beneficial for all of you ? They usually have great skills in managing behaviour and kids really do follow other kids . They can also help link you up with early intervention services AND you'll get some much needed rest .
Good luck mumma ! You can do this .
Oh Also with the expecting things from the shops and melting down some of that will be learnt behaviour . He does sound like he knows if he keeps it up you'll give in OR that if there isn't one of what he wants and he melts down you'll get it next time . It's so easy to create this cycle ! My three year old does this one after day care too ! We did it for a while to get him to go happily but after a while he just expected it ! NOT what I wanted ! So I gradually reduced it ! Instead of every time I made it every second time (there were a few tantrums about this but he got the idea pretty quick ) and then I made it every 3rd time for a bit and then I just stopped and he didn't notice ? If I had to I was going to drop it to every 4th etc etc
Think of things as a transition - some kids need more help in this then others .
And one more thing - sleeping .. My 5 year old still loves us laying with him to go to sleep ! He gets really anxious if we don't . I think this is only a problem if you see it as a problem ! I know it feels daunting with another on the way but it can work ! We have three now and we tag team ! Most nights Hubby lays with mr 5yo and 3yo who are in same room and I do bub and it works !