Hi...I am just after some advice.
Recently my 5 year old son has been rubbing himself/his penis (dry humping basically) on well basically anything from his pillow to soft toys. Although a little taken back and a bit in shock as I had not ever seen this behaviour before I talked to him about it and he just said so inocently that it felt nice. I assured him this is ok and to do it in private, talked about personal space and not touching other. Respecting our bodies and others etc. Then last night I walked into the kids in the bath to find my son rubbing his penis on his sisters back/bum. I asked what he is doing and he replied rubbing my willy. Anyway again spoke to them both about their bodies and what is acceptable and what is not. Also privately asked my son if anyone had ever done this to him or touched his privates.
So I was just after some advice...is this normal, should I be concerned? I know boys around this age get a testosterone surge, any other IM's have any experience/advice. I just don't want him to have any negative thoughts on this topic and that masterbation is dirty etc.
Thank you in advance for your time and help.
4 Replies
He's 5 and I don't think it means anything other than it feels nice. But some things I would be doing from now on.
1. Supervising the kids in the bath, or having separate baths for awhile and not leaving the kids alone when naked. That way you can remind him of the boubdaries.
2. When you see the behaviour say that's for your bedroom- and send him to his room. It needs to be consistent.
3. Remembering he is 5 and so he isn't old enough to moderate his own behaviour all the time. So you need to do that for him and you'll probably need to be hyper vigilant for awhile.
4. Id also do a quick review of what he has access to technology wise. Some very innocent seeking searches on YouTube can bring some surprising videos, just in case.
Please protect your daughter!! You didn't mention how old your daughter is, or the age gap. If she is younger she may feel too intimidated or scared to speak up for herself or tell you about it. She may not know this behavior is wrong, but knows she doesn't like how it makes her feel. Talk to your daughter about what has been going on. Please stop bathing them together.
Im so glad you asked this!!! About 12 months ago i caught my now 7yr old doing it in bed early one morning.. not something i was expecting.. i automatically thought maybe something had happened (like he had been shown this) and asked him.. he said it just felt good.
Ive only had him do it once since than (that ive walked in on).
Being that i have sisters and he is the eldest boy in the family it really threw me off.. but im so glad he isnt the only child doing this.
I'd suggest maybe seperate baths for the moment.
My son squished his willy agaisnt my knee twice. Once when he was 3 and again when almost 5. I reminded him simply not to do that and he stopped. I don't think your boy has seen anything it's just testing what it feels like on different things. My son squishes his agaisnt the shower. Just explain to him that he's not to touch someone else with his willy and why and maybe not leave them in the bath alone anymore. Pretty much a kid doesn't know something is not ok until you explain it and when little it might need to be repeated after a few years. My son touched a girls hair and trailed his hand down the side of her body to her hip. In his mind he was just commenting on how she's tall. I reminded him he shouldn't touch others without asking. No big deal he learnt a lesson they all learn. Most behaviour like this, while it might seem strange to an adult, is normal and hardly likely influenced. Little boys will also find things in the bath to put their willy in which is completely normal and experimination. Look up about this. It's common for children to do these things from birth.