I stayed out with my 5 year old last night until 8.15. (Friday) I was volunteering at her after school activity. Helping out.
It was organized all week and my husband was aware it was happening.
My daughter was having a ball. But when it was time to go she had a meltdown wanting to stay. Once home (still crying) my husband was extremely angry telling me I was very wrong staying out until so late. Insinuating I am a bad parent. I tried to explain that she was fine right up until the time to leave and he insinuated I am lying.
She was fine then for the rest of the night and slept really well.
I never go out at night. We are all always home inside by 6pm.
But am I wrong in thinking that it is ok once in a while?
Or is he right to be angry and still this morning hateful and ignoring me.
I am not sure. I have apologised several times. But he will be this way now for a few days from past experience.
We are going to counseling and have an appointment in 2 days. How do I broach this subject with our counsellor?
7 Replies
It was a Friday night, staying out until 9pm is not unreasonable AT ALL. Even if it was every Friday night it wouldn't have been unreasonable.
Is hubby normally over sensitive to your daughter having a cry?
Just bring it up. Just say I want to discuss what happened last Friday.
Um my children are 8 yrs old and 17 months old we will on occasion go out till late I'm talking past 9 pm my hubby really doesn't care allot of the time he's with us anyway I think your hubby is over reacting... It's the weekend no school routine to follow it wasn't really all that late and your daughter's reaction to leaving the fun is completely normal also.... I'd be asking what's the real reason he's so upset maybe he wanted dinner cooked ready for him to come home to or maybe he is jealous of you having fun without him there it seems like an awfully silly thing to be getting the rude silent treatment :/
My 2 yr old doesn't go to bed until 9-9.30pm every night! Very rarely do we stay out that late with him but we wouldn't think twice about staying put until 8-8.30pm! I think he's overreacting and possibly finding something to be pissed off about? It's not the end of the world at all and chances are her meltdown was because she didn't want to leave not because you had her out too late!
Husband needs to learn how to communicate rather than offer the silent treatment.
As for 8:15 on a Friday night, you rebel you... Your kid will be fine, tantrums happen and not wanting to go home when they're having fun some give us some doozies.
What, is your husband going to give you the silent treatment over every tantrum now?
Broach it as an ongoing communication issue. I know people need space sometimes and might not feel like talking but he's sulking for days over something you don't have any control of!
Its fine. Fun things happen st night. Seeing the world at night and the stars and moon.
8 is not late for a special occasion and the tears were just tired excitement and loving it not wanting to leave - all normal.
What a massive overreaction to something that in the grand scale of things isn't a big deal. Kids get tired, they get stroppy. Doesn't mean you should lock yourself inside after dark and avoid situations that might test their limits. She had a great time and didn't want to leave and reacted how any normal child would :) Sounds to me like hubby didn't like not having control in the situation and has made you feel bad about it. There is obviously more to his behavior as you are in counselling already but I would definitely bring it into the session with the counselor. Just say it. You shouldn't feel like you can't even raise the issue with him. That's just another form of control for him and that's not on xxx
Its friday night! And it was only 8:15 not bloody 1am.
My dad used to do this to my mum. Get the major sulks on for not being home with him. They are now divorced....
What a big baby tell him to get over it and next time hes welcome to come too.