I'm 38 and have a strong willed, sometimes very trying 3 year old daughter. I'm not a very patient person, and suffer from depression, and some days I really struggle being a mum. For the last year or so I have being contemplating having another child, my husband wants one but I am really unsure. I worry about my mental health, my ability to cope. We have no family support which makes things difficult, plus we run a business so hubby works long hours. I worry that I am running out of time but desperately need more time to feel comfortable about it and learn ways to cope with the stress it will bring. I'm not even sure what I am asking, I just don't know how to make this decision. Has anyone been in this position?
2 Replies
I am sorry that you have found motherhood to be a tough journey, you're not alone. Even a mother not suffering a mental illness with a well behaved child has bad days so give yourself a bit of a break.
My husband also works extremely long hours, we can only rely on one person to ever look after our children because we lack family support but in saying that making the choice to have a second child was never a hard one when we considered giving our first born a brother or sister to love and protect, to be best friends with (hopefully for life). If anything were to happen to myself or my husband our son would at least have a sibling seeing as though we don't have a huge family and don't live close to the family we do have.
You can always speak to a therapist or a trusted GP along the way on your pregnancy journey, you can prepare in advance what you will do to make coping easier.
I think it's harder to look back and regret not having a child than it is wondering if you should have another, you will always love another child no matter what.
I hope you find your answer soon & no matter what you will get through this motherhood journey if you choose to have another just like you have with your daughter. Xx
Honestly sit down and write a list of your concerns and what strategies can be in place to help you cope. Can you afford daycare for miss 3 a few days a week? Can you afford some home help?
Sit down with hubby and discuss what the options and realities are. That will help you make your decision.