Mums, I have a problem, I really need your help on how to move forward.
My youngest is in pre school, and has been to 2 or 3 parties this year. At one, there was a situation where a child was being grossly nasty to my daughter, and the mother laughed (at my child, so my child could see and hear). Yep, no wonder the child is the way she is.
Anyway, I politely but firmly stood up for my child and did my best to keep her 'chin up' for the rest of the party, but we left early and we're both in tears. It was horrible.
Not only that, my child had a stack a week prior and had a black eye. This group of parents decided to take it upon themselves to barrel her up and question her about it... These parents won't even say 'hello' to her when she says 'good morning xxxx's mum' and didn't even come and ask me, even try to strike up conversation. I couldn't believe it.
But we have nothing to hide and my daughter told them all about her stack.
Since this party (months ago), these 'parents' ignore my daughter when she says hi, not to mention when I try to say hi in passing (I have no interest in being their friend). I'm trying to teach my daughter that we always want to be the ones saying hello, we never want to be the yukky ones.
The problem is that our kids play together, daily, and only each other.
My daughter now gets left off the invitation list for birthdays routinely (mums talk, God knows what they've said about me...I've only heard the beginning of some of it), and just this week the mum was at the door handing out invitations when my girl walked through, her daughter bounced up and down, 'Mummy mummy where is xxxx's invitation... Oh sorry mummy, I forgot you said I couldn't invite her'.
Again, heartbreaking for my daughter.
I want to tell her not to play with these kids, but I don't think that's right.
The teacher has even commented on how cold they are towards me and my daughter.
They will be in the same primary school, so we can't get rid of these people.
My heart breaks every day I drop her off. I hate leaving her to the unknowns of this situation.
I feel sick about the effects it's having on her. I cry all the time about it, it's really consuming me.
Have you been through something similar? How did you move on?
Any advice would be great. Thank you.
6 Replies
Ask to be put in a different class next year. I would encourage other friends and stop saying hi. It's good to be not nasty but also to have done self respect And know when enough is enough. What bitches.
Welcome to the world of school mums, its worse than high school sometimes. My son is in pre primary and theirs a lovely clicky group of mothers that enjoy looking down on the rest. It a horrible feeling when they do it but i just keep saying to myself your life must be really boring for you to make so much drama at school. Try and befriend another mum with a nice child. Encourage your child to play with this child and gently steer her away from these mothers. I have even gone to the extent of asking the teachers to buddy my son up with the "nice child" to create some distance.
I would pull my child out in a heart beat and find an alternative school. These parents are bullies and they are potentially raising bullies.
Just another side, are you sure there isn't something in your daughters behaviour you haven't noticed? I would never openly exclude but I try hard to keep my son from socialising with one boy because his behaviour is appalling and his mother can't see it. Could be worth asking her outright?
But that is no excuse for the other parents to ignore the child.
I can understand them questioning the kid about the black eye but giving all the other details, it did seem like an easy excuse for these "women" to intimidate this child
I would just ask them what the problem is? It's already uncomfortable so may as well get it out in the open and try to clear the air. They might not even know there is a problem? (not that I am defending their appalling behaviour!) big hugs to you and your little one, I hope things get better, but you may have to take the step for this to happen. Good luck, let us all know how you get on xxxx