For those of you ladies who constantly get rejected sexually by your husband or boyfriend how do you deal with the rejection? I am left feeling very unwanted and unattractive and it's really killed my self esteem.
He wasn't like this when we first got together. He was all over me.
He isn't depressed and has no medical issues and I know he's not cheating on me. I've told him how I feel and he just says it's just who he is and I should accept it. Which is what I'm trying to do.
How do I just deal with it? How do I stop being jealous of my friends who complain that their husbands can't keep their hands off them? How do I stop crying at night because I feel unwanted? Please help :(
How do I deal with constant rejection?
How do I deal with constant rejection?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health
6 Replies
I am your your husband! I always reject my husbands offers of sex. I feel horrible doing so but I just don't want it. Its like my vagina is dead. I still find him sexy as hell and absolutely adore and love him, I just have a really low sex drive whilst his is high. We have sex once a week sometimes twice but my hubby asks every second day. I'm sure he loves you and finds you attractive, he may just have a lower sex drive.
You have to learn that its not your fault or his fault. Its just that we all have different sex drives.
Find other ways to express your affection towards each other.
Learn to love yourself, both physically and emotionally.
He isn't rejecting you to hurt you or because he's not attracted to you. Keep reminding yourself of that.
Its normal for sex drive to die down after the honeymoon phase.
It still hurts, reminding yourself how much he loves you helps.
Sex doesn't prove anything, and lack of sex does not mean he loves you any less.
If it is becoming an issue, speak to him about ways to improve it. Spice things up a bit to see if that helps.
I've tried spicing things up and trying new things etc he doesn't want a bar of it.
For me this depends on how long you've been together. What's going on in our lives etc.
Let me be clear: nobody is entitled to sex ever for any reason.
If this is a relationship that's been going on under a year, and no kids involved, I'd probably just move on Because on a long term basis this is a horrible position to be in for BOTH sides. In my opinion having two opposite sex drives makes a relationship very difficult. Resentment builds, someone feels pressured to 'put out' and the entire sexual relationship becomes toxic.
If this relationship was longer than a couple of years, kids were involved,pregnancy, post pregnancy, a long term established relationship before the drop in sex drive, then I'd remind myself of the ways HE does show me he loves me. Does he cuddle, does he make you a cup of coffee, does he make sure you get to watch your favourite shows, does he participate in housework etc.
Now I'm going to clarify again:
I'm not saying people who have low sex drives or high sex drives don't have fantastic qualities. But I want in my relationship to feel in harmony with the person I'm choosing to spend the rest of my life with. I also want them to feel in harmony with me. I don't want to feel like I'm pestering someone for sex or they are pestering me. Yes there is conpromise at times, but when there is total opposite ends on the spectrum then compromise just makes one person at least feel really shifty about thenselves!
We've been together for years and have a child together. I definitely agree that feeling in harmony is good, and that's what we once had but now it's changed and we are total opposites and he's not interested in changing so I'm not forcing it. He does love me and he shows it in many ways but I really enjoy sex and sex does make me feel wanted and loved so it's hard :(
This describes my relationship. 5 years and 2 kids later, lucky to have it once or twice a month. Where I'd be happy to have it every day.
In the beginning, we had sex at least 4/5 times a week. Then by one year it was once or twice a week.
It's only been since the birth of our second 9 months ago that things have really died down.
Turns out my partner has stress related depression. Has just started taking anti depressants- side affects include loss of libido (I wanted to cry. I dont want it to get worse).
Maybe your partner is suffering mentally.
None of this is your fault.