Does anyone else find they tend to buy their kids more because no one else gets things they actually need. Not on purpose but like just buying them what they need naturally. Like books, puzzles and educational things for birthday's. When added together with other just fun toys and clothes it looks like a lot. But he doesn't really get anything from anyone else that he needs for learning. I get him what I think he would like and need and I never really cared what others get him he loves their gifts. But then my mum turns around and tells me she's not getting anything for his birthday because i bought too much. My sister and mum are usually the only two people who buy him things on our side. The stuff from is fathers side stays over at his mostly. If I were to add what I get him with what other kids get with larger families would be the same amount. One thing i bought him for his upcoming birthday is a play kitchen. My mum said it should have been the only thing I bought him for him but if I didn't buy him books and stuff he wouldn't have any. One Christmas my mum didn't buy anything for my son, freaked out and stuffed a bunch of old riped books in his stocking pretending to herself they were from her. That year he was only a toddler so I had only got him a few gifts. Over the years I have just bought what he would need because I know others wouldn't buy it. My mums really good with a few things she bought him like his mattress. I don't expect her to buy him anything but when she says she's not getting her grandson anything like it's my fault kind of hurts. I mean she could just not get him anything and not say a word and I wouldn't bat a eye but it also seemed like she was trying to come up with an excuse not to. Every year chistmas and birthdays I always get hounded on about buying anything for my son. Even when he was a baby and i only bought him afew presents. My mum and sis will say oh it should only be this many presents and I have to point out that it actually is that many. My mum is the kind of mum that hates on me for anything I buy. I bought him clothes he needed as he grew out of all of his previous winter clothes and she goes off her rocker coz apparently he shouldn't have grown out of them. Like children don't grow at all apparently. I am constantly having to pull her up on her nagging about what i buy. It's often about the amount and not actually how much is spent. I could just buy alot of books and art supplys for $50 and nothing else and it would be the same story. I just want to have a happy Christmas and birthdays for my son but every year it's the nagging.
2 Replies
I think this post comes across as you judging what your son has been getting. I don't think it was intentional, and I'm sure you'd appreciate anything, but I thought I'd point it out before I told you my thoughts on the matter.
I understand we shouldn't expect presents, but I'd be beyond devistated if my mum or brother said that my son has too much stuff so they wouldn't be buying him a birthday or Christmas present. I can understand your feelings.
In my opinion, though - as hurtful as it may be - you need to accept that 'things' aren't important to your mum.
Just make sure she makes up for the lack of things with love and time.
Encourage her to not buy your son things from now on. Instead, suggest she has a nice day out with her and your son instead.
Memories with Grandma will mean more for your child than things will ever mean.
As for the nagging, that's not something you have to tolerate, nor should you.
Politely explain that you appreciate her concern, but that you like spoiling your son and you'll continue to do so.
Each time she nags, become a little more firm in pulling her up.
And continue to spoil your son!
And FYI - I just updated my Mr 2's craft kit as a part of his birthday present. $30 at Kmart and I ran out of space in the craft box and had to get a second. The cheap stuff they have is actually really decent quality!
They also have $1 books, and the ones near me currently have clearance on winter clothes.
Go nuts and enjoy spoiling your child.
She's not listening to your repeated requests of stopping the nagging, so I'd take the next step and tell her to back the fuck off