What would you do?

So for starters said child is 10 nearly 11 years old.Child has ADHD and ODD is medicated (sometimes not very effective) so is difficult at the best of times.

On a daily basis 10 yr old takes off from home at 9am- 5pm most days (during these school holidays) and most afternoons after school till around 5pm.
Goes off with kids riding bikes and going to the skate park, which is fine BUT the issue I have here is I am never told he sneaks out. Just yesterday he busted his screen on his window to get out of cleaning his room and took off.
I have said he can go play with his friends if he helps out by cleaning his room, being respectful to his dad and I, not back chatting and doing the wiping up. These were our conditions but they aren't good enough for him. We are sworn at, have things thrown at us and basically treated like dirt.
We have 3 younger children which he hurts and swears at which isn't tolerated at all. He is sent to his room to calm down then apologise but when it comes to the crunch he can never take responsibility for his actions.
Most recently he has stolen money from my wallet, his brothers money box, our cars, stolen from his pop and we have had to put locks on our cupboards to stop him stealing the food. He is by no means missing out when it comes to food or money. He eats 2 adult size dinners a night and has plenty of food during the day. He gets lunch orders for school when he has behaved.
He even went as far as not coming home from school and staying at a friends place which we didn't know where he was so we rang the police. Police found him at the friends house and he swore at them and told them he wasn't going home because his dad bashes him. I couldn't believe it when the police rang is at 11pm that night stating what he had said. DOCS got involved and interviewed him and he never said anything about being harmed but the police still put out an AVO but we got the statement from DOCS and that was enough to show he had lied just to have a sleepover and it was thrown out of court. That was so heart breaking! I felt like we were nothing to him. He never even cared about what he had done, he thought it was funny!

I feel like I'm missing something here but can't quite put my finger on it. We have tried talking as a family just him his dad and I and talking one on one with him. His answer is always "I don't know" when asked why he did such things.

I guess I'm just at my wits end with trying to figure out what we have done wrong? I don't see how we have done anything wrong. 95% of our attention is towards him most of the time whether it be good or bad so his not lacking attention.
Maybe it's not us, maybe it's him? I just don't know what to do from here or where to go?

We have seen counsellors and paediatrician sand they all say the same thing just keep trying till he gets the fact he is a child and needs to act like it but it's gotten us nowhere! 12 months of it being progressively worse and taking a toll on the entire family.
I guess I'm just after some prespective from someone that has felt with something like this before?