Hi everyone, I am seeking some advice about house sharing..
I live with my partner, and two others. We are all similar in age and get along well usually. Lately my partner and I have been having trouble with one of the housemates.
One has a young child, who spends a few nights a week in the house. We have been told by the housemate that we are not to make any noise past 8pm and we've been told aren't allowed guests over the nights that the child is there.
The same housemate has guests over as often as they please when the child isn't there, and often multiple guests who are loud (not party loud, just general loud television, laughter, a normal social gathering). These guests will often stay as late as midnight. We live in a street with limited parking and these guests will use our carport/driveway resulting in us returning after work to having to park down the street. These guests leave our home in a mess and the housemate is often lazy with cleaning, resulting in my partner and I having to do the work..
Our problem is how we can approach these issues, without seeming as though we are anti child or anti guests? Are they really even issues, or are we overreacting?
We feel as though we are good housemates, tidy and respectful of others. We are not loud, we keep to ourselves and rarely invite guests home, preferring to go out so as to not disrupt others. We moved into this share house under the impression it would be a quiet home, but feel as though guests sometimes three times a week, messy, late and loud isn't very "quiet".
I am hoping some of you mums (and dads) out here might have some previous experience and will be able to pass on advice. We don't want to cause household problems but we feel as though we have always followed the
"rules" which were set when we signed the lease and that this particular housemate seems to be above those..
Asking them to leave is not an option, we want to stick it out... Thank you
5 Replies
Just politely but firmly say that you'll continue to respect their wishes when it comes to their child, as long as he's respectful when it comes to nights that the child isn't there.
Compromise works best in these situations.
so if he has a kid there a few nights and youre all quiet, that leaves a few nights hes having guests. Do you not want him to have any guests? Just remind hum youre hapoy to respect the quiet for the child, and youd also like to request his guests keep the driveway clear and shutup after 10 except weekends. And he has to clean up the in the morning after if they make a mess.
Honestly though just move out on your own you can have it all the way you two want it.
Share housing is hard at the best of times and I take my hats off to you even attempting to have a couple + parent / child situation in the same house.
Unfortunately the reality is when you share, you need to be prepared to make compromises and people have wildly different ideas about what's appropriate and what's not for shared living.
They're not partying, they're just having friends over. It would drive me insane too but technically you could do the same and if you have different views maybe you're not compatible to be living together. I think the parking in the driveway/carport thing is wrong - but every house I've shared in (including the current one) always has garage custody worked out in the particular roommate agreements.
Tell them to clean up there act or u have the option to leave if i where u i would leave and not put up with that shit i to have a child and would like that respect but it's a two way street they said it and they also have to respect even if the child isn't there but if i where u I would move
I would leave the child out of it. You have legitimate issues with the car parking, the mess and the noise. Simple as that. You sound like respectful people who regardless will provide a quiet place for the child. Address the other issues. Totally reasonable on your part