Hi ladies. I have 2 beautiful children (currently 2 & 3). I've always wanted 3 children, however hubby is happy with our "pigeon pair".
I feel if I don't have another I'm almost missing something.
How have others coped with this? Did hubby come around? What was the financial impact with the third?
Third baby?
Third baby?
Posted in:
Baby & Toddler
7 Replies
Here's the deal, I thought I'd have three. I had one (not by choice, by medical).
You get past it if you choose to get past it.
You are experiencing children wether you have 1 or 10. It's the same.
I made a decision that the family I already had came before any 'dream family'. Your relationship with your kids you have and your husband come before a potential baby.
So wether your husband comes round and you have a 3rd or you stop at three you will be totally ok. Yes I was sad about it for a while but I got over it. It hasn't destroyed me, because I chose to focus on the fantastic child I do have.
I have a 3 year old and 1 year old pigeon pair and felt like I wasn't done having children but my husband was done. I was truly upset as I just wanted one more child but I also had to take his emotions into consideration. So we spoke about it for a couple of months and then left it. After dropping it and letting go my husband came to me and said we should try for a third I'm now 26 weeks pregnant.
You have a 2 and three year old, I am sure life is pretty hectic, no wonder hubby doesn't want another one. Revisit the idea in a few years when the kids are older and you may get a more positive response from your partner. How do cope? You focus on what you have, if we all focused on what we didn't have, we would all be pretty miserable people.
I had 1 child with my husband, we were happily married and I was desperate for a second. He did not want another but agreed to for me thinking that he would come around......he didn't/couldn't and hated me so completely that i had no choice but leave. I am now a single mum of 2 girls 7 & 1.
My Husband and I have a pigeon pair, we also come from big families, 1 child is in school with the other starting next prep next year, we also travel overseas alot, we have decided to try for a 3rd. Who said you have to stop having babies just because you get one of each?
We have a pigeon pair and i wanted to go back for a third. Hubby was adamant 2 was enough and got a vasectomy. My youngest is 5 and i still yearn for another most days. I'm only 29. I wish hubby had at least waited a few years... They say the only child you regret is the one you didn't have.
Hubby never came around. His arguments were all rooted in good sense and fiscal responsibility, mine were pure emotion. Went through a period of being deeply unhappy about it, right around the time I would have wanted to be bringing the third baby into the world. It all passed. Reached a point where it no longer felt viable. Age gap would have been too big and I started to feel too old. Very comfortable with it now. Yes, if I had my life over I'd have rearranged things so three children were possible, but I'm happy with this life. It's not ruined for the lack of one more. I've now reached the cold sweats at the idea of having an accident stage - I can't go back to babies now!